Fake or not this cracked me up
this post was submitted on 24 Jan 2025
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The "OFFICER DOWN" part made laugh quite loud.
Bond doesn't wear a trenchcoat. Pink panther style spy is what you get when that's the outfit you give him. I'm not gonna act like Dora the Explorer if you give me a Power Ranger costume.
Sounds to me like the dude is doing a fantastic job roleplaying and gal's idea of roleplaying is just acting out low budget pornos from the 90s.
'I want a real roleplay!'
You're getting a pretty damn real roleplay, what you want is cheesy, netflix-content-mill tier schlock.
Neither of their ideas are right or wrong, they just haven't communicated their desires yet.
Seems like the guy has communicated (via acting out the roleplay) exactly what his idea is, and the gal has totally failed to communicate that what she wants, and is instead saying very vague stuff to her husband, and is complaining on the internet about her vagueness being interpreted in one way.
She could just tell her husband 'hey can we tone down the roleplay to the level of a cheesy 90s porn parody' but instead she says 'i want real roleplay' which is extremely vague and requires husband to read her mind.
'All of our roleplay revolves around one person being a character and the other person interacting with them'
In other words:
Husband does all the work of inventing and acting out a character and she does nothing different in anyway and just 'roleplays' as herself.
She needs to at bare minimum describe in more detail what she wants to her husband, if she wants something different, instead of doing the roleplay equivalent or starfishing and then complaining about it on the internet.
She needs to at bare minimum describe in more detail what she wants if she wants something different
Exactly what I said. No need to add the layer of misogyny.
instead of doing the roleplay equivalent or starfishing and then complaining about it.
She said she plays along and tries to get him to let her go for sexual favors, did you ignore that part?
Seems like the guy has communicated (via acting out the roleplay)
"Hey honey, how did you like the new stuff you asked me to do?" Simple as that.
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Well if I wanted to be seduced by Jacque Clouseau, I'd just watch the movie. The man has PRESENCE.
"Give you a what?"
"A bleu jeurb, mam. Will you give me a bleu jeurb?"
söck më öff pleäse
A cop yelling "officer down!" while having sex with a suspect doesn't seem very realistic to me.
I can absolutely see a cop claiming an injury to justify the rape of a suspect idk what you mean
I could see them claiming injury if they got caught. But in this role play, it sounds like the "cop" was getting away with it, and started shouting for no reason.
Sure, the more realistic thing would be getting piss drunk and throwing her into a wall and breaking her nose or something, and then forcibly taking her from behind while she's bleeding with a broken wrist, but that would probably be outside of the realm of roleplay and into actual domestic violence.
She should buy him a pizza delivery guy outfit.
“Here’s your pizza.” “Ooh, I can’t find my wallet, can I pay… another way?” “Seriously? This comes out of my pay! Gad dammit, not again!”
That reminds me of this video (I hope the embed works) :3
i distinctly remember seeing some actual porn actors doing this, which must have been the highlight of their week
The solution to this is simple. She just needs to ask him to play a porn character of a cop. Then she'd get the performance she was hoping for. Just be careful to be specific so he doesn't end up play a porn actor playing a cop, because then he'd be asking an imaginary director about his blocking, accidentally forgetting his lines, and requesting to cut and start the shot over.
Hiring the fluffer…
Did Basir write this about Garak?
bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey…
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
Came here looking for a robe and wizard hat. Was not disappointed.
I have 1000s of these bash.org quotes in a fortune file.
You. Must. Share.
Or teach me the ways.
https://codeberg.org/257m/qdbscrap/ is the web scraper and here is the link to source: https://codeberg.org/257m/qdbscrap/src/branch/main/fortunes. If you want it precompiled: https://codeberg.org/257m/qdbscrap/src/branch/main/fortunes.dat
If you want to scrap more you can but I left it alone after I got a decent amount as I didn't want to spam the server with too many requests.
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The legend lives.
going limp
Communication is key. Simple as that.
I literally laughed out loud at the pink panther thing!
Not realistic enough: cop didn't shoot anyone/thing
He did shoot his load...
Did she marry Dwight Schrute? Angela?!
I'll be honest, every time I've tried roleplaying I can't take it seriously, I just bust up laughing at the absurdity of it, which then gets my wife laughing while being annoyed at the same time, so then we have laughing frustration sex, so, win?
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So if she gets him a plumber outfit, he'll fix the plumbing?
Lots of good ideas here. After that, she could get him a maid outfit and the house will be sparkling clean!
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idk woman. have you tried.. well.. talking to him instead of the interwebs?
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I don't roleplay in the bedroom. Being blessed with the dramatic talent of a water heater makes it a rather daunting task.
But...
Envy those who can. Those have extra fun when having fun.
This couple?
I risk the dude is trying to add an extra layer of personal fun. But definitely falling short of the objective.
I think the dude is nailing it. Especially the OFFICER DOWN part is sweet.
It? That's a bit demeaning, don't you think?
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