See, I'm no tankie, I'm a radical anarcho communist according to this chart

Link if you want to try it yourself: https://www.politicalcompass.org/test

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[–] 76 points 3 years ago* (last edited 3 years ago) (14 children)

It’s natural for children to keep some secrets from their parents.

How is this a political question?

When you are troubled, it’s better not to think about it, but to keep busy with more cheerful things.

Do the makers of this test know what politics is?

Astrology accurately explains many things.

The only relevant ideology that believes this is Reaganism.

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    [–] 64 points 3 years ago (2 children)

    You're all a bunch of libs, if you won't provide the vanguard, I will!!!

    stalin-shining

    Seriously though, I had to respond with some fucked up ideals to get it to register like this. This test is beyond trash and they want donations at the end lol! The ultimate lib grift.

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  • [–] [S] 63 points 3 years ago* (6 children)

    Picturing xinternet doing the test and finding out that he's an anarchist

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  • [–] 63 points 3 years ago (5 children)

    If you aren't hitler or mussolini you literally can't get to auth-left. This shitty test is essentially a "are you an asshole?" test and if you answer "no" you will be hailed as the one true anarchist. So yes. Xi would be considered an anarchist by the political cumpiss.

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  • [–] 51 points 3 years ago (4 children)

    yeah this. the entire questionaire is built in a way that makes it impossible to be auth-left unless you're some kind of nazbol or strasserite. none of the questionaire items deal with positions that would actually be "authoritarian" positions of a Marxist-Leninist, such as "freedom of the press and freedom of assembly sometimes have to take a backseat to fighting off counter-revolutionaries" or "a vanguard party sometimes needs to do purges to weed out corruption, incompetence and careerism". Instead, you are an authoritarian leftist if you hate abstract art and gay people and beat your children. Like, that's literally what you need to answer to score as a Maoist. If you espouse social policies of the USSR, such as being pro-abortion, being anti-racist and getting women out of the kitchen and into the universities, this test counts you as less of a Marxist-Leninist.

    It's pure horseshoe theory at work, it tries to measure how fascist you are and how communist you are by the same questions, and the result is that actual communists cannot score as communists. Go figure.

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  • [–] 51 points 3 years ago (3 children)

    Someone help how do I score this?

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    [–] 47 points 3 years ago
    [–] [S] 46 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    Here's how you're actually supposed to use the political compass:

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    [–] 44 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    Alignment charts have poisoned modern culture lol

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  • [–] 42 points 3 years ago (4 children)

    Seeing all these answers I can't help but think the test is rigged to send people towards something like Chomsky's 'libertarian socialism'. It's more useful to confuse people than to have them realise that they would (critically) support e.g. the USSR if they were permitted to make their own mind up. "Oh you have decent politics then you're in this box here and whatever you do, don't look up!"

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    [–] 42 points 3 years ago (2 children)

    Polcomp literally isn't capable of placing MLs in the top left. I have never seen an ML get top left as their result.

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  • [–] 27 points 3 years ago* (1 child)

    It's so far off base that a Marxist-Leninist state could reasonably use it as a quick litmus test to determine who needs reeducation and who doesn't. Scoring far from the green zone in any direction implies a hardcore reactionary who likes to do eugenics and drown puppies.

    I wish I could time travel back in time to have Stalin take this test just to bring the results back and rub it in liberal's noses when he too is in the green zone.

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  • [–] 40 points 3 years ago
    [–] 39 points 3 years ago* (6 children)

    I'm sorry

    This shitty site thinks I'm an anarchist, I can't deal with this. I'm now legally required, as per my political compass certificate to renounce my :order-of-lenin: and defederate myself from Lemmygrad. I will apply to Hexbear and they will be the judges wether I fit there or on :reddit-logo:. PLEASE I CAN'T BE A :cracker: PLEASE

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    [+] 37 points 3 years ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (13 children)
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    [–] 35 points 3 years ago

    It's impossible to get authoritarian on that test unless you hold the most stereotypical American right wing opinions.

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  • [–] 32 points 3 years ago (1 child)
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    [–] 32 points 3 years ago* (3 children)

    god it's been years since I've taken the original one. These questions are even dumber than I remember. Which direction is not believing in astrology supposed to nudge me towards?

    I got economic: -9.5 and social -8.77. I'm pretty sure it's not actually possible to get any other quadrants unless your beliefs are demonic.

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    [–] 32 points 3 years ago (2 children)

    OP, you linked to the wrong test, this isn't the original! You can find the true test here!

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  • [–] 32 points 3 years ago

    HERES YOUR MARXISM-LENINISM, YOU DAMN LIBERALS

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  • [–] 30 points 3 years ago

    My end result is just "Correct!"?

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  • [–] 28 points 3 years ago* (last edited 3 years ago) (3 children)

    The political compass has broken so many people's brains. I love how it thinks being an ML is when you want free healthcare but also want to be racist and homophobic.

    edit: It's probably the source of a lot of zoomer misconceptions about the so called tankies, now that I think about.

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    [–] 27 points 3 years ago (2 children)

    You know what really annoys me about political tests like this? They pretty much never distinguish ideals and tactics. In fact, to any sane materialist, answers to the same questions would change wildly between "what i would want my bourgeois government to implement", "what we need to do after the revolution" and "ideal society to strive for".

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    [–] 26 points 3 years ago

    We are all anarchists on this blessed day left-unity-4

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  • [–] 26 points 3 years ago* (2 children)

    One time I spent like four hours making a really elaborate political compass meme with kings of ancient Babylon and posted it on here as an elaborate joke that probably only I found hilarious. But now those old images are broken and it makes me sad.

    Also, shout-out to the guy I called out on chapo.chat for unironically calling himself auth-left and who got really mad. He got banned like a week later lol

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    [–] 25 points 3 years ago

    To the makers of this test: when I said "We should make Stalin look like an anarchist," I didn't mean it like that

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  • [–] 23 points 3 years ago (6 children)

    I like the test that said I was Lenin.

    specter

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    [–] 23 points 3 years ago

    I knew everyone here was a bunch of libs 😡

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  • [–] 22 points 3 years ago

    Wow look I'm an anarchist! It's like this hokey test was designed in like 2004 by libertarians or something! Literally impossible to get top left.

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  • [–] 22 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    I have failed you Xi, I am sorry xi-shining

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    [+] 21 points 3 years ago* (last edited 3 years ago) (2 children)
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    [–] 21 points 3 years ago (3 children)

    I think it's broken

    This other test is calling me an eco-marxist while policomp is calling me a left libertarian.

    Both are dumb though because there's more nuance to some of these questions than they let you have.

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  • [–] 21 points 3 years ago* (1 child)

    We are all true Anarcho-Bidenists on this beautiful day. biden-leftist

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