this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2025
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[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 week ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Try not to suck any dicks on the way to the parking lot!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Hey, you, get back here!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

USA congress?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

I was hungry

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

In parallel!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Really nailed in good there.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Can you make it bigger? I don't want to have to get my reading glasses, they're in the other room

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Sorry, I'm still having trouble reading it, can you make it a little bit bigger? Maybe also change the colors a bit, like inverted or something

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Username checks out!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

This is a terrible measurement unit, even worse than the one we came up with in college for rockets, where we used elephants. Dicks come in all shapes and sizes.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That’s why the standard dick was introduced

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No, that's just Dick, he's a good guy.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Good guy, very standard.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

...and holes

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (3 children)

What’s even more annoying is that a 2x4 (pronounced two-by-four) isn’t 2 by 4 inches. It’s 1.5 x 3.5 (sometimes even a 1/16 under).

It’s all because of some unfinished lumber bullshit, but it’s still not as confusing as pipe and hose fitting sizing at least.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

pronounced two-by-four

Unless you're in the south, in which case it's pronounced "tuba-fur".

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

And I also forgot about the Mainers and their two-by-faws

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Worse still, the pattern does not continue like one would expect.

  • Nominal: 2x4 -- Actual: 1.5" x 3.5"
  • Nominal: 2x6 -- Actual: 1.5" x 5.5"
  • Nominal: 2x8 -- Actual: 1.5" x 7.25"
  • Nominal: 2x10 -- Actual: 1.5" x 9.25"
  • Nominal: 2x12 -- Actual: 1.5" x 11.25"

There's just an arbitrary point where they decided to take an extra 1/4" bite out of it. I'm not sure whether that's more of an effect of shrinkage from kiln drying being proportional to the original length or an effect of industry practice to mill smaller boards to eke out more cuts per tree.

And for the record, yes, I am aware the discrepancy is not entirely explained by shrinkage. They do a planing step after drying. But the shrinkage is a not insignificant part of it. They have to round down to the nearest convenient dimension from wherever the shrinkage stops.

If longer boards shrink more, the finished boards would necessarily have to be smaller. I question whether that's the effect at play, though, because I believe there was a phase in the industry where that extra quarter inch wasn't taken off, and they changed their minds about it later.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

It's because the actual cut is 2x4, and the wood shrinks. The typical shrinkage is known and accounted for. It is a treat when a house has an actual 2x though, i.e., it was cut divided by the shrinkage ratio, or cut dry. Related to why framing is done "on center", i.e., "16 on center".

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That’s not from shrinkage (well the 1/16 might be, especially newer fast heated junk at the Homely Despot). It’s from when they mill the rough sawn 2x4 down to “finished size”. You can buy actual 2x4s, but they won’t have the nice planned surfaces or beveled edges.

I’m not wondering why it’s that sized, I’m annoyed why they insist on calling both rough saw and finished items 2x4s.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I had to go back and re-read the history of dimensional lumber. 2x4 was an actual 2x4 cut until recommendations by the Forest Products Laboratory (American Lumber Congress?) in 1919 to balance functional and economic requirements (1 5/8 x 3 5/8). It's neither the shrinkage nor just milling after drying, they literally just cut it smaller. And if my last 20 trips to big box stores with lumber are any indication, they don't care about cupping or warpage either.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Yeah whenever I need lumber I plan to set aside at least half an hour to dig through the piles to find OK boards.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You can't convince me that wood shrinks by 35% by crossection. No way.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Yup, that was wrong.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The European mind cannot comprehend that as wood expands, dicks also expands

This makes total sense

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

That's why pools are so expensive.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

Measure twice, cut once!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I assume they're erect but are they end to end or side to side?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

my forst thought would have been dicks lumber down the street but I dont know if they put their name on the wood

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago (3 children)

silly americans have units of time where there are 60 seconds in a minute, 24 hours in a day, 365 days in a year, and every four years there's an extra leap year! LOL backwards hicks

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

You got the leap year rule wrong.

Every fourth year unless the year is divisible by 100 unless the year is also divisible by 400

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

You got the leap year rule wrong.

Every fourth year unless the year is divisible by 100 unless the year is also divisible by 400

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

You got the leap year rule wrong.

Every fourth year unless the year is divisible by 100 unless the year is also divisible by 400

And it's a leap day that's inserted, not a leap year

And anyway we're talking here about measuring in dicks

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

But wait, those might be metric dicks.