this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2025
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badposting

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badposting is a comm where you post badly


This is not a [email protected] alternative. This is not a [email protected] alternative. This is a place for you to post your bad posts.

Ever had a really shitty bit idea? Joke you want to take way past the point of where it was funny? Want to feel like a stand-up comedy guy who's been bombing a set for the past 30 minutes straight and at this point is just saying shit to see if people react to it? Really bad pun? A homemade cringe concoction? A cognitohazard that you have birthed into this world and have an urge to spread like chain mail?


Rules:

  1. Do not post good posts.
    • Unauthorized goodposting is to be punished in the manner of commenting the phrase "GOOD post" followed by an emoji that has not yet been used in the thread
    • Use an emoticon/kaomoji/rule-three-abiding ASCII art if the rations run out
  2. This is not a comm where you direct people to other people's bad posts. This is a comm where you post badly.
  3. This rule intentionally left blank.
  4. If you're struck for rule 3, skill issue, not allowed to complain about it.

Code of Conduct applies just as much here as it does everywhere else. Technically, CoC violations are bad posts. On the other hand: L + ratio + get ~~better~~ worse material bozo

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 hours ago

I want to return this pez dispenser it only dispensed a dozen treats and now it's not working

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 hours ago

starts jelqing my hog ooouughh im ambout to crank ougghhhh

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Kshh shung

"ATTENTION ALL FUCKING DUMBASSES, WE GOT A MANAGER'S SPECIAL ON T SHIRTS ON AISLE NEGATIVE FOUR INCLUDING ALL FLAVORS! COOL RANCH, CHEESE BLASTED, BARBEQUE, GRASS, SWEET CHIPOTLE, AND DIRT. THANK YOU!"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 hour ago

Dirt shirts are a legit tourist trap purchase on Prince Edward Island. Their is a lot of red clay in the mud which stains like a motherfucker so they sell shirts dyed in it as a thing. They even have PEI Dirt Shirt printed on em. Half of the kids I knew growing up near the island had one.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 hours ago

i'm buying out the entire store, i hate this place and i want to take away the pleasure of shopping at the dumbass store from other dumbasses. i am the main dumbass anyway

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 hours ago

Wow, you have a huge selection of Funko Pops here

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

uuhhh could i get a uhhhh uhhhh could i get a uhhhhhh

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 hours ago

Hey hurry the fuck up I'm on lunch break from my job at the stupid ass factory!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Hi, my friend said they got a call from you saying you're "all out of me," does that mean that you, uh, sell copies of me here? And how much are they?

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Kshh shung

"MAINTENENCE, SOME DUMBASS SPILLED HOT DOG WATER ALL OVER AISLE 5, CAN YOU CLEAN THAT SHIT UP? THANKS, BABE!"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

I want a lot of lottery tickets but all very specific ones and I'd like to scratch them all at the counter and make people wait behind me plz.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Is the nincompoop machine still broken? I want a frozen dumb ass.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

yeah the machine is working fine. you want sprinkles on that?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

okay so i put sprinkles on the machine and then it caught fire and broke. no more frozen dumbasses, sorry :(

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 hours ago

we got fives over in aisle two

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago

I put on my robe and wizard hat

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Do you carry mini-trucking magazine?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago

nah we only have monster trucking magazine

[–] [email protected] 14 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Where do you keep the Skub

[–] [email protected] 10 points 12 hours ago

uhhhhhh we ran out three months ago and nobody remembered to order any

[–] [email protected] 14 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Uhhhhhhhh yes I'll have the uhhh the ummm uhhh hmmm one sec uhhh incoherent whispering yeah okay the uhhh hmmm mmm yea...no...nuhhhh hmmm uhhhhh one uhhhh can I make it a large uhhhh hmm or maybe another hmm no I had that last time one second I need a second just uhhh hmmm one ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[–] [email protected] 10 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

oh yeah you work here, don't you?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 hours ago

Uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[–] [email protected] 13 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I would like...world peace bloomer

[–] [email protected] 12 points 12 hours ago (3 children)

yeah we got it on aisle 14

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

"Hail be thou, I am looking to purchase one of your toothbrushes, but it needs to be the right size for my teeth. Look!" nage

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

"Hey I tried ordering something on your website but it said 'credit card declined', can I speak to the manager of your local franchise to have him fix it?"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 hours ago

sorry, our Dog Manager Hazel is currently dealing with another customer. Can you please take this to customer service? thank you

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

whispers quietly can I have a turkey sandwich... And could you uh... Gets quieter take your shoes off and step on my bread

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

we don't got candles. best i can do is a sparkler stuck in a brick of styrofoam. the fumes WILL kill your brain cells though

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

cups hand over ear and leans in

Fork handles? those are on aisle kissy face emoji

[–] [email protected] 11 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I SAID

WELCOME TO THE FUCKING DUMBASS STORE FOR STUPID FUCKING IDIOTS, IS THERE SOMETHING I CAN HELP YOU FIND TODAY?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 hours ago (12 children)

Uhhh....... I need help. I'm looking for something but I'm not sure if you have it.

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