You'd think UHC would strive to behave impeccably with all the publicity around them lately. But no: they're so shameless and so greedy they even behave rotten when everybody is busy dissecting their every moves. Amazing...
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Well shoot, what can be done to fix this?
Super Mario Bros 2025
Round two?

Yeah, every story like this plants a seed in someone's mind to be the next Luigi. UHC executives are cultivating their own demise.
What's she gonna do, appeal?
Ai: "It is safe and profitable to deny this claim as she is unlikely to seek vengeance."
Fuck this system, it's absolute trash.
How Many Times Do We Have to Teach You This Lesson, Old Man?
Brian Thompson didn't learn shit he's dead. And I doubt that Stephen J. Hemsley, the Executive Chairman of UnitedHealth Group and Brian Thompson's co-defendent in an insider trading lawsuit, likely didn't learn squat either but is currently still alive.
They could put out a story like this every minute of every day and never run out. Burn it all down indeed
PLAYER 2 START
Proof that Luigi was right! 2025 is the year we the people start denying their existence. Medicare for all and the doctors that get paid the most do so by having healthy patients. No more pill popping to keep making these insurers rich!
Stephen Helmsley:
He was managing partner and chief financial officer at Arthur Andersen.
Super shocking that he was doing insider trading at UHC. They hired a known crook and paid him tens of millions a year.
Funny way to spell murders
Huh, guess a few more CEOs need to catch some bullets before things change. Mario Brothers, you know what to do!
I'll put the CEO in a coma.
Remember remember, the 4th of December...
Dr. Levi better be careful, United may try to claim he’s violating HIPAA by publishing these details (even though it’s legal).
You must wonder if the board has a death wish at this point, otherwise they must be confident their 24/7 security is up the task
I bet the new United Healthcare CEO (or whomever is in currently in charge) is le pooping their pants right about now.
And cleaning it up with hundred dollar bills.
Fuck these rich assholes
united healthcare looked at bob kelso and was like this guy is the hero of the series.
Bob actually tried to milk the insurance companies for money, IIRC. He wasn't entirely a monster, but definitely had no chill.
Dr. Bob Kelso: What the hell people? I saw Maggie Kent in the park. Why didn't we treat her?
Nurse Carla Espinosa: She has no insurance.
Dr. Bob Kelso: Well, why didn't we do what we always do? Why didn't you fix it while I turned my back and pretend not to notice? You know the dance.
Deny, Delay, Defend.... may I add: Dispose?
Denial accomplished. Time to Defend and Depose. Fuck you United Healthcare! My heaven is witnessing your hell.
"We have a fiduciary responsibility to kill these drags on our profits."
--UHC Executives, probably


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