this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 38 comments
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[–] [email protected] 59 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Bow before your new king!!!! For I have received Excalibur from the lady of the ~~lake~~ box!!!!

[–] [email protected] 61 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well I didn't vote for you.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well how do you become king then?

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The Lady of the Swordbox, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the box signifying by Divine Providence that I, Ininewcrow, was to carry Excalibur!

That is why I am your king!

[–] [email protected] 52 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Bottom rack retail workers distributing replica weaponry is hardly a good basis for a system of government

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (2 children)

You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some ~~watery~~ ren fair tart threw a sword at you!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)

(gets grabbed by store security)

Ah now we see the violence in the system.

COME SEE THE VIOLENCE IN THE SYSTEM!

HELP! HELP! I'M BEING REPRESSED!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"How'd you know he was a Karen?"

"'E ain't got shit all over 'im."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL!?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

If I was to say that I'm the emperor because some underpaid and overworked employee lobbed a foam claymore at me, they'd put me away!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

You clearly haven't heard of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

I'm so fucked bruh I can't even imagine king Arthur as a man anymore

[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"By th power...."

"Get the hell out of here! Can't you read?!"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HAAAAAAVE THE POWEEEEEEEEER!!!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

"Sword of Omens, give me sight beyond sight"

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago (2 children)

How about: "By the power of Grayskull…"?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Only if the sword will actually transform you into He-Man.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well, mine only transforms me into She-Gal. I hope the shop owners won't frown on that.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

There's already a She-Ra, ya know...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

If you took some LSD beforehand ..... for the user they did actually transform into He-man ..... or a hippopotamus .... whatever .... they still get the sword. .... alright Man-at-arms! Let's roll!!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I will also accept:

"Thunder... Thunder. Thunder! ThunderCats!!! Hooooooooooooooooo!"

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh there's a question... if you do a good Freddie Mercury impersonation can you pull out a sword? I would say yes.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

If you shout "I have inside me blood of Kings!" is a store worker required to shout "Yeah!" back?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It says "there can only be one" but there are in fact many swords to do this with.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

You can reduce the numbers faster if you don't need to keep taking the time to clean and sharpen.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

There can be only two!

Wait, I screwed up. Can I get a Mulligan?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Form Blazing Sword!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

demoknight tf2 moment.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Was that a reference to a highlander show?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago