People who have read Harry potter, why did the wizards even need slave elves anyway? They can just kinda use magic to do any labor effortlessly

Ufo panics, and really any kind of mass panic, always upset me bc it's never anything cool. Most of the time it's airplanes, and the rest of the time it's venus.

When people are dying in droves because polio is back and bird flu has made The Jump, chuds are going to be blaming the covid vaccine

sorry if this goes over the line of "no struggle session posting" but very funny that people are freaking out that hexbear is going to die due to mod overreach and then like 2 days later we get a bunch of new users because of the strict reputation of the mods lol

the meek shall inherit a little kiss from me

You are a prisoner in a room with 2 doors and 2 guards. One of the doors will guide you to freedom and behind the other is a hangman–you don't know which is which, but the guards do know.

One of the guards always tells the truth and the other always lies. You don't know which one is the truth-teller or the liar either. However both guards know each other.

One guard says to the other, “that shirt looks great on you.” The other replies “shut up, Greg.”

Only cool suburban homeowner.

Mr. Evrart is helping me find my headmate.

Should we let the new users in on how Kamala can still win?

Mods!!! My right ear is all hurty and hard to hear out of and I think I have an ear infection!! Wahhh

Updated to 0.19.8. Very small lemmy update https://join-lemmy.org/news/2024-12-12_-_Lemmy_Release_v0.19.8

props to the Lower Decks writers for, after being told they're not getting any more seasons, deciding to destroy the cannon universe on their way out the door.

I cannot be normal even for phone calls. I am thankful that this means I do not mask much anymore, but every time I say Hi, I am calling about thing, I was directed to this number regarding thing, the reaction is always presumably-stunned silence followed by verbal fumbling full of "um" a lot. I guess I'm just not using The Prescribed Scripts For Making Calls, but it feels weird that every time I speak to someone, it's a curveball for them...

Feeling sad today

Goodish news: no promises but I landed a second interview for a job that will get me out of Ohio to a more blue state AND the city will be walkable (although I’m not going to say which one for opsec.) so I want to study the company to make sure I nail this interview. The one thing I worry about is possible discrimination for not being a local (I’d gladly relocate on my own dime.) Does anyone know any tips for nailing an interview for a non-local “out-of-network” job? I have zero connections anywhere so I can’t just nepo baby my way to success.

Still pumped, it could mean that my life might finally start in earnest. I can finally make friends, actually work, and more. I just hope to still save up so I can go back to college for a STEM degree and get a higher paying job.

Was reading Domineco Losurdo's Western Marxism over a pint at the pub last night and heard the question I dread when I'm reading a text like this in public.

"What are you reading?" the server asked as he was bringing me the bill. I took a breath and explained yes bud actually I am some sort of weirdo actually (I actually just explained the premise of the book) and he was like "oh interesting! I studied philosophy in university with a minor in political science, who wrote it?" and ended up asking if he could take a snap of the cover before peacing haha

Crazy to think Jimmy Carter could have met with Joseph Stalin and most of Soviets leaders. Living to 100 years old must be very weird.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are UFOs

I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now

TNG episode where Bender from Futurama comes on board the enterprise

So I really really like making this watery pea soup broth thing, it's like 1 lbs of dried split peas 2 gallons water ratio plus half an onion lemon, salt, pepper, and paprika. Drank like 3 mugs of it last night and it left me giggling and happy idk soup just makes me happy and I recommend this to anyone on a budget/wants soup.

Met a few very super nice and cool Maoists in town and will likely join a reading/study group in the coming weeks. Makes me happy

Did I miss something? What’s with the new people from Bluesky?

I love the solution to “we’re destroying the planet with fossil fuel consumption” is colonizing mars. Like great, what energy source are we using? Like we lack the willpower to get off fossil fuels here we’re not going to successfully colonize a planet with no oil.

Hating on Ciri as a Witcher fan is crazy.

Thank you to the Lidl employee who accidentally stuck the wrong clearance price sticker on the box of chicken breasts I grabbed 🙏

I just got over 10 euros worth of chicken, I mean sausages, for 2.50 € while looking nervously over my shoulder at the self-checkout the entire time

when we gonna abolish private property already

i dont want to pay rent to some soulless fuck for the rest of my life

FREE MOTHER FUCKIN GAMES I have some steam keys left over from the Jingle Jam charity bundle of games I already own, if people would like them here they are.

Tagline:

okay! okay, okay! let's kill him. let's kill this guy, let's beat him to death with hammers

Hahaha, who is this tagline about? Know many guys who would deserve this

"Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire" is the episode where they really jumped the shark, all downhill from there

If I were rich I'd hire a sniper to constantly miss me. Make it seem like I'm.really cool under pressure and that powerful people want me dead.

my computer is fixed finally! and the new cooling unit works great and the processor rips ass, i can transcode plex and play whatever at the same time!

now it's time to pirate like 20 seasons of the simpsons, i'll let yall know if it actually gets better

Vibing to songs about smoking weed because I miss living in a state that had legal weed and I have no hookups here but also

Once again, bought my groceries based around some of my coupons. Then forgot the coupons in my pocket.

Small business owner tyrant at the place I used to work at is such an anti-worker shithead that he's driving the workers to likely unionize because he's merging two businesses into one bigger business and can't be bothered to be clear about how many of them are going to keep their jobs, etc. The new place is bigger than both places combined so it's likely all or almost all of them but he's too uncarting and stupid to be clear on that so get fucked, dude. Hope they unionize.

I hate how random dipshits on the internet can really just piss me off beyond belief