show transcript
lastfmuser
imagine if people still took last names from their trade like fisher, smith and fletcher. imagine some guy introducing himself to you as jonathan podcaster
scribblestheunicorn
It’s him,,,
Ted Talker
Oh, you guys are thinking small.
Peter Executive (a vassal of Andy CEO). Mary Anesthesiologist. Alice S. Theorist. William Credit Authorizer. James M. Researcher.
The worst part is that, fun as this is, I'm having flashbacks of every time I've said something along the lines of "Matt from HR" and realizing that's how that has always worked.
Renouned negotiator Matt Fromeichar
"The prefix "from" is how you know a family comes from the old middle class. Rich families used "the", as in "Jane TheCeo or Peter TheChairman."
"Working class families just don't get a prefix. That's why there are so many James Burgerkings out there".
That's how I always refer to my sysadmin colleagues when talking to others. Chris and Steve Classrooms, Bill Proxmox (née Vmware), and I'm Jack Networks-Linux. Not real names of course.
David Searchengineoptimizer, Mary Marykaycosmeticssales, Oleg Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer.
Nobody thought Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer would be a good governor of California, but he ended up being more moderate than expected.
No one at school was picked on more than Timmy OnlyFans.
Timmy Onlyfansson
That's why he started going by Timothy Olyphant in stead.
Oh, like Timothy Chaturbate/Chalamet?
Or the endboss of funny names: Syphilis Snugglesnatch, oh I mean Bumbleshack Calldispatch, oh I mean Benadryl Lumberjack, ...
We all remember Scam Bankrupt Fraud, right?
yea wasn't he the guy from FTX?
Yeah, the guy who never got out of Bronze in LOL.
To be fair, I never even got INTO bronze in LOL 🤷
Peter Unemployed.
Shameless pluck for "Qualityland" by Mark-Uwe Kling.
Look at me, I'm Bobby SitAtMyConputerAllDayAndAgeRapidly
We call him Little Bobby Tables.
Always. XKCD. Always.
Finally an accurate description for Jessica Fullstack Developer.
Does he wear socks?
No. Jessica Fullstack Developer is also opposed to pants (religious requirement).
Just ask Tim Apple how that feels.
one of the podcasts i listen to made a joke about Tim Onion buying Infowars and i am still cracking up over it.
also I'm super upset that someone already took the handle tim_apple on everything😤
It's getting harder to discern reality from satire, but Tim Onion has actually been The Onion's CEO's name^*^ ever since he bought that job. And he is trying to buy InfoWars. (And the company formerly known as Twitter has joined Jones' fight to prevent it.)
^*^(his bluesky display name, at least)
thank you for making this even funnier for me
Hello, I am Bob Bugmaker, your software developer for this project.
Imagine being the actual John Gamer.
Etymology nerd on YouTube has a video on this! It's basically how we put people in our phones now, such as Alex (neighbor) and Alex (work), two names I actually have saved in my phone. They're more based on relationship than occupation now.
Edit: (neighbor) not (phone)
That makes sense considering in the past knowing who your town's baker or other role was mattered. Now a days you don't really know the names of the people you get food and things from so it's shifted now to more relationship based.
Dolores del BullshitJob. Or Lola Shitposta.
“Sup, I’m Lance Crypto!”
Ohh no look out, it's Tim Moderator
Dick Doctor Patrick Porn Star Caroline Creator Dan Designer Evan Entertainment Ian Importer Tim Apple
María Tiktoker
John Uberdriver
Sam Gamereviewer
Shorten them and it works
Maria Toker
John Uber
Sam Vèiwer
Kailey Influencer
🤮
Influencer isn't a trade name and it will never be, Kailey Advertiser.
Yosef Tuber
Isha Grammer
Fitzgerald Acebook
Hi my name is Colin Support
I'd be Jimbo Bomber.
A lot cooler sounding than my real name.
I'm an industrial radiographer and usually called bombers.
Dang it and I was hoping you were What Bombs At Midnight.
Surf's up, space ponies! I'm making gravy without the lumps!
In the case of coppers it would be pretty convenient since they all go by their surname so they would all be, "Officer Pig", "Sergeant Pig", "Inspector Pig", "Detective Pig"
Please see the excellent book "Jennifer Government" for a prescient look at where things are heading.
can someone help me make "janitor" sound like a fancy French name pls
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