this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2024
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all 36 comments
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[–] [email protected] 273 points 5 days ago (3 children)

For those who don't know, this is a decades old joke.

[–] [email protected] 119 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Is that a picture of a tweet of a printout of a MS Notepad file that was probably cut and pasted from a forwarded email, newsgroup post, or web page?

my head hurts

[–] [email protected] 46 points 5 days ago (5 children)

Next time you see it it'll be a 1-minute mp4 with a loop of some crap music that means a specific vibe to 15 year olds.

I don't know how much more bandwidth inefficient we can make it after that.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Don't forget the voice over reading the whole thing like its not right in front of me... "This doctor needed to call the burn unit after an attorney questioned him"...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Also, don't forget to split the video in half so you can watch someone react to the video you're watching.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago

Embed it in a PowerPoint presentation and somehow it will triple in file size

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Upscale it to 4K for no reason

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

yeah that'll do it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Let me introduce you to...

The Metaverse!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago

Don't forget subway surfers!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 days ago

Seriously, older than the internet.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 5 days ago (1 children)

We need bash.org have come back

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Oh that's unlocked some memories. Wow what a flashback.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

yeah back when the internet was good and idiots hadnt congregated on it yet.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago

Every group has its idiots, but I will admit it felt like a higher class of idiot.

[–] [email protected] 78 points 5 days ago (2 children)

From the last time I saw this, what I understood was, the lawyer isn’t asking the witness if there’s a possibility the person in question was alive, the lawyer is trying to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the person in question was not only undeniably dead, but also impossible for the person to be alive.

Source: my memory from a random comment on the internet, pay it forward

[–] [email protected] 66 points 5 days ago

This exchange never happened. There is no person in question. It's a joke.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Yeah that makes sense. I used to work in a position where I had to testify in court regularly about the results of independent findings the court requested. There were often lines of questioning that were about establishing details. The questions seemed silly, but it wasn't about the specific pieces of information it was about establishing that "Thing A" was absolutely true (or false) as of a specific point on a timeline. I never had any fun exchanges like this though lol.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Funny and technically perjury.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Would it really be (serious question, as I dont know a whole lot about legal matters)? My limited understanding was that perjury is lying under oath, and sarcasm, while it does involve saying untrue statements, isnt considered lying in everyday speech because what it actually communicates is the opposite of the literal meaning of the words. Since laws deal with humans and not computers, my assumption would be that it probably works in such a way as to depend on what message a person is actually communicating rather than the precise syntax by which they communicate it?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Sarcasm does not fly in court. Everything you say can and will be used against you. You do not have to be the defendant for that to apply. I sat through a lot of civil cases. Most of the people who lost, lost because they were being sarcastic. Sometimes, their LAWYER would take up this attitude, but judges are people, and they DO NOT like attitude. I was specifically a witness and sat through a lot of cases. This hit home for me.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Most of the people who lost, lost because they were being sarcastic.

What a complete and utter rubbish.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

That was my experience. You also have to remember I I was in civil court.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You made a general statement that MOST of people lost their cases just because they were sarcastic. This is utter tosh.

Judges may not like sarcasm, no argument here. But to say that most people lost due to sarcasm is a complete nonsense.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

That is what I said, yes. I had to sit through everyone else's cases. If they were rude, they lost. Most of them that lost were rude.

Edit: I am giving you my anecdotal experience that was across 30+ cases. It was a lot. That's why I'm fairly confident in my assertion. If you want to give me stats, I'll listen. Otherwise, you just seem combative. I even remember several example cases I could give you.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

There should be a counterpart to “copaganda” for legal shows and media that depict the court as a pristine, high-stakes, yet ultimately fair process. It's intriguing to witness people's initial confrontations with corruption in this context—I understand their defensiveness, as the introduction of cognitive dissonance can be super uncomfortable.

On another note, it's disheartening to consider how what you experienced likely contributes to the disproportionate legal contempt faced by POC compared to white individuals. Perceptions of rudeness vary widely across cultures, which can definitely influence systemic racism in the legal system.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Yup, let's double down on your nonsense and your lack of understanding correlation and causation 🙄

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I'm asking for stats? Prove your point with better evidence or move on ass hole. You haven't provided any evidence for your argument. You've just been argumentative.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 days ago

Keep digging.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 days ago

Sarcasm is pretty much by definition lying to insult someone or something.

Best case scenario the judge holds you in contempt of court. Worst case you go to prison for perjury.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Sarcasm and humor rarely work in your favor in a court setting, it's true. That was a pretty inane line of questioning, however.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

He's an expert who's probably old and sick of answering questions like this because even if they're (idiotically) technically necessary, they sound incredibly stupid.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 days ago

Then the atheist professor dropped the chalk and, to the surprise of that haughty demon, it did not break...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago

5th degree burn!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

This is fucked😭😭😭