this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2024
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That's the post. They really did that.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 days ago (2 children)

When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to poop the political bands which have connected them with another, and to poop among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of God poops on them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should poop the causes which impel them to the separation.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Someone should make this and discreetly replace it with the other copy and see how long it takes for anyone to notice

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago
[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)

What if OP wasn't even American?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 days ago

We the poople

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago

Emergency toilet paper. Very considerate

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 days ago

Seems like the best place for it.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago

Put Combat Liberalism next to it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago

You can steal it like hit actor Nicolas Cage!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago

A bidet would be cheaper.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago

but no bill of rights?

TELLING

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago

Your bodily fluids are declaring independence from your body

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago

for when you run out of toilet paper

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

In bad country yaddayadda...

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Putting the foundational document of your country in the fucking public bathroom is a uniquely American perversion that there absolutely no way you'd see in any other country. It's like how the same people who will freak out if an American flag touches the ground are awooga about American flag bikinis or whatever. There is this weird phychosexual relationship to consumerism that is part of American patriotism and flag merch is a blatant example. Rock flag and eagle. It'd some resl nasty fetishist shit you don't even see Germans doing.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

wait, do you mean they're not posting the Magna Carta in Nando's????

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

The Nando's menu is a document that's both still relevant, and successfully binds the powerful.

Unfortunately, most of our non-poultry-related problems can't be fixed by threatening to call Corporate and get their franchise yanked.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago

Ooooh! If you can maybe get a friend to help so you don't get the blame, a declaration of independence glory hole could be part of your workplace

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

If we pool like $3000 together we could probably get Nic Cage's fee together for a DIY national treasure parody

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

Someone should write 'if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down' as an addition

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

Damn, it'd be a shame if someone shit in it and smushed it

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

It must be for wiping your ass

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Fitting place tbh

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Doing the morally correct thing by depositing shit microparticles on it every time you flush.