Melbourne

I am feeling a bit rich today. Just banked the money from my Marketplace sales, it's payday today, I received my tax return a couple of days ago, I got a $50 Bunnings card from my FlyBuys last week and I'm signed up for a study which will pay for my milk for the next four weeks (and give me a $150 Visa card at the end). Why can't all these things happen every week?

Edit: just found out I'm on the fancy A2 milk for the study. Never had that before.

It's quite a nice day out today. Depression's been eating me alive for the past few, so the sunshine is a welcome distraction.

Also tried a Banh Mi for the first time, from the place at Chadstone. Probably not the best you can get, but it was quite nice.

Good fucking grief! These two anti-vaxxers are now discussing how climate change is fake and that the phasing out of gas will reduce quality of life.

Fucking fuck fuck this shit

Edit: i already feel so "job ready" listening to these two knuckleheads. 🙄

Edit: these men love hearing themselves talk, fucking UGH UGH UGH 🤮🤮🤮

Edit: one of them just told the trainer her qualifications don't matter... her PhD doesnt matter... i cant even. This is actually wack af

Kiddo can now be tickled. And he LOVES it. And honestly, its made my whole year. I had to do the daycare drop off today. I was very brave, and I handed him over and left, but I wanted to run back in, snatch him up and drive off somewhere fun together.

First day back at work after 1 1/2 weeks off. Shit didn't catch fire while I was gone which is nice. Have a chat tomorrow with my 2-up boss about how he has treated me (just before I went on leave). Not looking forward to it but I know my worth so whatever happens happens.

Went on a (2nd) date on the weekend too which was great, but also felt like I wasn't supportive enough about some of her concerns about work etc. so followed up today. We'll see how that goes...

Should not have let myself doze on the couch yesterday, I kept telling myself it'll screw with my sleep schedule. Well it did, and now I've been awake sine 2:50am and I just want the day to end because I feel all thrown about.

Drove 11 miles out of town to get away from the lights. How's the serenity?

Daffodils and jonquils and sunshine, oh my. I'm leaning into all the trite stereotypes about spring being a time of renewal and reenergising and I'm feeling great.

Possibly being on annual leave is helping.

These stupid medications are making my anxiety worse and now im having a panic attack even though the cause of my worry is unfounded. Brain is being mean to me today

If you're coughing every 20 seconds on a bus then you either should have stayed at home or at the very least should be wearing a mask.

Honestly people are fucking animals.

All done for the day; now to scrub my brain of all the inanity spewed by the other participants bleh

Don't mind me, everyone.. just popping down to 7-11 to grab some.. knives?

Tonight is rogan josh.

Just got all the bits for the raita and the whole time walking that mission I was just thinking of this skit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a-CVGbUUjQ

I'm not sure if that'd stand up today though.

Caught up in meetings and actual work all damn day, didn't get to enjoy any sunshine. Time for a walk and damn the consequences!!!

Well not all of them, I still need a job and all that.

Dear God. Phoned into Cennalink to get my current med cert tagged and even when calling in at 8 on the dot I was on hold for over 40 minutes.
Then we had a line with an echo in it.
Then the line dropped out when the CSA was asking me some follow up questions.
At least the med cert was tagged, but my head feels like I'm up in a bell tower while those bloody big bells are being rung.

Okay these side effects are bad enough that I've called up to get a med cert today because I'm pretty much inoperative. Feels like my heart is in my mouth, my brain can't settle and I can't even concentrate on procrastinating let alone any meaningful task. I'm straight up staring into space halfway through a sentence and 15 minutes have gone by. Damn, I thought extended release would be gentler and better than immediate release but it's clearly not working.

Grabbed a second hand laptop the other week since mine is about 7 years old and not well. And with all this car BS I figured nows not the time to drop 1k on a laptop. The "new" one is 3 years old and I have to say, pretty impressed so far. Its so much quicker than my old clunker.

So, because I have been jobseeking for a while, Workforce Aus are making me do an employability course for the next 4 weeks via Zoom. I'm trying to remain positive, that I will learn something that may help me, but I just feel so worthless having let it get this far. Sigh.

"Uh oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays!"

Quiche! It’s an easy, foolproof recipe that doesn’t take too long, and now I have lunches sorted too

Last night I was watching the home shopping channel and the dickhead was demonstrating the Power xl 12 in 1 which is a fancy airfryer that bakes, grills, blah blah and he's fluffing around making shit. So he chucks in potato gems, sausage, cheese, egg etc and I thought why can't I make this in my airfryer.

I had no idea what it was called so I googled the ingredients and it came up as a "tater tot casserole" and "breakfast casserole " which made me laugh. Anyway I'm gonna try and recreate this abomination. I wish I had some foil trays but instead I'm gonna have to make my own.

i love hazy sunshine

I have decided to name my new mulcher Chomp. We spent the last hour reducing every stick in the backyard into woodchips. It did a great job, I'm really pleased with it. The sunflower stems from last year were paticularly satisfying to see munched up. I'll give the rose prunings a few more days to dry off a bit before I tackle those.

A full bus + no fresh air + a bus driver jerking the bus = nausea.

Fuck PT in Melbourne is horrendous. One incident shuts down the entire train network for at least an hour and I'm forced to take this vile workaround.

Today's the day I let my assistant reply to emails and such. I've told her that I will be here for questions and such. And happy to take over when she needs it.

But so far it's going good. Also I decided to wear shorts and a short sleeve shirt today with no jacket and I regret the jacket. And I had my appointment with my job seeker person who let me get another uber gift voucher. I feel so bad asking for it, but like the fact that I spent $400 on uber last month kills me.

I can't wait to get my own car, I mean $400 will be going to the car as well, but at least it's on my time and not someone else's.

This trainer is so unorganised, the poor woman, I'm cry-laughing. Ugh. Monday hates us all.

Least I can keep my camera off and browse the net while she fiddles around heheh

Omg there's a few anti-vaxxers in this course 😂 ugh talkings about reproductive organs

Wtf is this 😭😂

Got a nice little rude shock from my power bill this morning, the usage rate seems to have gone up by quite a lot.

My maths are a little bit off but it's almost an 33% increase in usage charges.

Really sucks and starting to put more strain on things.

Has anyone else been struggling with overnight temperatures lately? I wake up boiling then the doona inevitably comes back on at 4 o clock in the morning.

Two more broccoli heads vanquished! 🥦 ⚔ grating the broccoli was a bit of hard yakka though. Doesn't look very appetising but tastes great. Cheap and filling and nutritious.

pasta in a weird looking sauce of grated broccoli with chilli flakes, garlic, anchovies and tuna plus lemon

Well since everyone is sharing... I only have an after picture though

spoiler

People keep acknowledging my NFL Raiders hat and all I can do is give them a point and wink when they say "Raider Nation!" to me. I'm not brave enough to give the finger guns in this country, they might shoot back.

Argh… I keep ruining things through fatigue and not paying attention. Things that cost money. My hair scissors have rusted because I left them on the sink and water splashed. Maybe if I remove the rust with vinegar and try to put the edge back on the blade where it got eaten at… though I’m not amazing at it.

And it would probably come back. I should have got a little thing of sewing machine oil when I ordered something else

Wow, so I lost a friend who I thought I'd just put on hold, who I bitched about then the very next day gained a new one who's a real gem. Language barrier has been overcome. We're already making plans and though she's been in transition longer, she's super nice about giving advice which is good for a change, I'm sort of used to feeling a bit bullied or condescended to by trans women. The hangover from the toxic masculinity they showed as a mask or a defence mechanism is real. We're getting dinner on Thursday and probably working together again soon as well. She's just as excited to meet another super positive and proactive trans woman. We all struggle with shit from time to time, but I've mentally been living in my gratitude for all the good things I have recently. Could be the weather, could be the extra oestrogen, could be transition, could be the sobriety, could be the job, could be finally feeling attractive and loving my new body, could be the good food, could very well be the journalling. All these things are supposed to bring happiness. Maybe I should just admit I have big crushes on about six people at the moment and keep daydreaming about them all. woo. time for some vitamin d uptake. I'll also brave the salvos looking obviously trans cos fuck them.

In traditional DT fashion, I went indoor skydiving today after The Hivemind mentioned it a few weeks ago- I think it was Danwritesbooks? So much fun and I now feel an odd urge to go to the next level of adrenaline rush and actually jump out of a plane. Which is not something I ever thought I would do.

Waiting on more self watering pots so I can plant round little carrots and leafy greens. They were pricey but I know standard ones would probably be forgotten and dry out. If I don’t wreck them I can just keep planting short lived herbs or veg.

The grass isn’t up but it’s only had a few days of light.

I wish I had the space, money and physical capacity for a real vegie garden. And a catio so the furry puddin could sit outside with me without doing a runner

My dinner of tater tot and spicy sausage airfryer casserole.

And in its original form

Guys it was pretty good. 5/5 yum yums.