this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2024
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[–] [email protected] 108 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Why can't you just find an existing name that means "blessed"? Anna? Beatrice? Celeste!? JUST PICK A NAME YOU'D BE WILLING TO USE YOURSELF!!!!!! 😀

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 weeks ago

I looked it up and apparently it originates from the Philippines. Not sure how recent it is.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

It'S NoT UNiquE HAtEr!!1!1

A plebe such as yourself simply cannot understand the patrician level of pleasure that comes from establishing a singular identity in this world of dross.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago

I tried unique names, but nothing felt better than the boring ones. Besides, there's always nicknames!

[–] [email protected] 55 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

On the one hand, I think this is a joke. On the other, I really hope this is someone’s actual living quandary

[–] [email protected] 62 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Having worked in an elementary school, I'm inclined to believe it's true. The best student name I've ever seen was Vampire Hunter. First name Vampire, last name Hunter.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 weeks ago

Shit, I wouldn't name my own child that, but that name is cool as fuck.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

They should have gone Vampire for the middle name and Abraham for the first name, would have been a really nice tribute to the 16th President of the United States

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

...I hope he becomes a vampire.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

His dad better be named Werewolf

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Having met a Revolution Fighter, full first name, I wouldn't be too quick to dismiss this outright.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 weeks ago

What a beautiful blitpost

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Just go with Blart Blimpson after Paul Blart.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My daughter is also named Bort.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 weeks ago

Why is the fathers problem a Mario-Wario-similarity to a celebrity and not the Tragedeigh itself?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Only millennials know who is Jessica Simpson, and just because of the SNL fiasco. The last thing anyone would think about Blessica Blimpson is that kinda sounds like Jessica Simpson. Go for it.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Wasn’t it Blashlee Blimpson who had the blip synching bliasco on Saturday Blight Blive?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

That was her sister

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago

That's a horrible name.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

The Problem isnt the similarity, its that the Name is Just ass

edit: spelling

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't know, Bloomer Blimpson would be a good alternative too. Maybe Blisa Blimpson?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

at that point just name them "Bless", that sounds more like an actual name.
stapling on "-ica" on the end just sounds utterly fake and desperate

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

There is zero percent chance this is real... right? RIGHT?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

I mean I can't find a result for "'blimpson' 'surname'" that isn't in reference to this post. Can't find a reason to believe it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Oh my, it's a good thing I wasn't drinking when I read this. My upholstery would have been ruined.