this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2024
719 points (99.0% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 153 points 3 weeks ago

That robber said, "Actually, I don't want that smoke." And left very promptly.

[–] [email protected] 111 points 3 weeks ago

“Uhm. Meow?”

[–] [email protected] 90 points 3 weeks ago

Every time I read this it about has me crying laughing, it's perfect

[–] [email protected] 70 points 3 weeks ago

Based and dominance established. Carry on.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I don't get it. How did the cat know how to open the door?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

How would a cat even know what a knitting needle was? Yarn is not for knitting in their world.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago

Maybe it was a knittycat? This post raises a lot of questions.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

It's the thing they need to remove from the ball of yarn to use it as intended, otherwise it just doesn't roll right.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Evolution, duh

[–] [email protected] 53 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 71 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 43 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You've not heard of the bearded lady?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh, I have. I was just posting the gif of the rest of that video because the entire thing makes me die laughing every time. The tone of that old man's voice as he questions all of reality is truly something.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I have not heard of anything you two funny kids are talking about.

… source?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Well now I just have more questions.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

It's a clip from a mcjuggernuggets video lol

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

It’s funny. I like it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Google daddy chill vine know your meme

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

I spent some cool years on the internet being uncool, thinking I was too cool for internet shit.

(I mean, I was also deeply depressed, heavily traumatized, and unable to function beyond work and escapism for basically the entire period Vine existed.)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

I'm gonna screenshot this nonsense and send it to the White House in 60s at the height of the Cuban Missile Crisis.

They'd nuke Earth instantly, get Fallout IRL going.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago