chapotraphouse

Perhaps we should consider that both things can be true: she intended the compliment of “I am sexually AND emotionally to you to such a great degree that I want nothing less than marriage”; and his reaction was valid because he perceived the meaning as “I’m settling for you”.

We don’t know how this miscommunication happened. She could have phrased it poorly or said it in a weird tone. He could have misheard. He could have a ton of pre-existing conditioning and pressures that led him to place her comment in a social context that she doesn’t share.

Neither of them have to be in the wrong here. Both of them should do the work and try to understand each other better.

i'm not male or insecure but i can definitely see how this compliment might come across as her telling him he's not hot/she isn't crazy about his looks or his personality, but that he's "a good guy" and "marriage material"- which yes, those are also compliments, but in this context could be taken as backhanded. i feel like maybe she should have just said something else. i also feel like acting like men aren't allowed to have feelings or insecurities or be upset is absurd.

please, no reddit relationship advice posting. my brain is already severely permanently damaged

Can't really judge neither of them based on this text alone, not enough information, we don't know the tone of how she said it, their relationship in the 2.5 years and their lives before, we don't know these people's faces or names or even if they broke up yet or got over it, if it's an insult or a compliment depends on their life. He could've been insecure about his looks and was bullied because of it throughout his life, or he could be a manipulative person with crocodile tears, and maybe this is all an AI reddit bot posting something controversial for Karma, we can't really judge much.

You'd have to be incredibly obtuse to see such a thing as a compliment. It sounds backhanded and almost like she's negging him. Like you'd have to consider men as emotionless robots with no deeper feelings or thought to see this as compliment. Oh wait, that's how society sees men! And you'd have to know nothing about male gender roles and expectations to not see how this could be insulting. Imagine wanting to spend the rest of life with someone (in this case a man), and knowing this little about their gender identity. And I say this as someone that's dated men. I don't know, maybe this is all incredibly obvious to me as a man or something, because I cannot see how that would be a compliment.

There's a little undercurrent here of "Toughen up, men" you obviously misinterpreted this and you're a little baby for being upset. Sorry, but that's the same toxic masculinity bullshit that everyone decries in the abstract.

If they've been together almost 3 years and this is his response to something as innocuous as "I take this relationship seriously" she dodged a bullet.

Beyond not being able to truly judge a situation based on so little information, this is the single post of a throwaway account which then made no edits to the post or replies to any of the comments. Maybe it's just me, but I always assume these cases are someone trying their writing skills or something of the sort.

Yeah, it's an overreaction to be sure, but I'm not sure I'd like hearing, "I wouldn't give you a second glance if I saw you in the wild" either. Could be they were already going through some stuff and that was the final straw.

Men are silly and stupid for never opening up or having feelings or being hurt or sad.

Look at this dude being sad because his partner said something hurtful. Dude should just toughen up! She obviously didn't mean it that way, he's just a big baby.

I don't like heterosexuality.

Locking this thread.

lamest struggle session yet

124 comments / 58 upvotes

Lmao

Everyone here is siding with who they self inserted themselves into

Het moment

How is this not a huge compliment? Dating men is literally the worst cause they are like this.