Can I just have a fucking break? I put a cat down three weeks ago, and now a dog has fucking cancer?
Can I just get a month where nothing fucking goes wrong?
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Can I just have a fucking break? I put a cat down three weeks ago, and now a dog has fucking cancer?
Can I just get a month where nothing fucking goes wrong?
I'm so sorry, that is devastating. Sending you my love, please let me know if I can help in anyway ๐
House now in possession of a calendar of semi clad firemen with cats. Not my fault.
Sorry for the trauma dumping yesterday. I feel a bit less shit(mentally) today I think.
Physically I feel like complete shit lmao. Might be coming down with something. We'll see.
You need to let it out sometimes. Itโs better than bottling it all in.
It can really help knowing you were able to speak and talk about it even if nothing changes.
The sun is beautiful outside. Maybe take 5 mins to go outside and soak it up a little.
Hope youโre feeling better soon.
Itโs totally fine. Itโs understandable to want to keep everything under wraps but sometimes you just need to yell about it
Nice lunch and a few beers with friends in the city ๐ english pub Sunday roast goes hard
I've been seeing that cute fluffy cat from may around on the camera feed a lot. It seems to visit us a lot, I'm not sure if it always has, and I'm only noticing because of the camera saving the video, or if it's gotten lost
In any case, I got a notification that it's in the backyard so I went out and gave it some scritcheys. Then it was gone just as quick as it came. It seems to have a routine though, it comes in from the driveway, walls last the front camera, sniffs some plants, then goes down the side of the house, squeezes through a gap in the gate, pops up on the back camera a couple of minutes later, goes to the other side of the house, does who knows what there, then does it all again in reverse.
Sounds like I've been adopted! Obligatory photos (same ones posted in may, I didn't take any today):
maybe the notyourcat is secretly training for the olympics as a weight cat
I thought the same thing at first, but on further petting, it's actually just really really fluffy. It feels quite skinny underneath all the fluff
On my street, the massed chorus of lawnmowers, whippersnippers and blowers has just started up. Right now it's fairly minor, but I predict it will reach a crescendo later on today.
i didnโt know i miss hanging out with people my age that much
๐๐๐
Oh no. While constructing my mega mousse I think the chocolate cooled down too much and it looks spotty. It tastes delicious though. Ah well. You live and learn and laugh.
Iโve just caught up on the Australian breakdancer. Itโs so very bad. The sprinkler and the play school kangaroo hop moves were great, but the sprayed roach was glorious. I watched on repeat laughing. 5 stars.
I was overwhelmed by cringe and couldnโt watch the whole thing.
Something just clicked for me with this "raygun" contraversy: Its the outfit. I mean the dancing is... whatever look I'm not one to judge anyones dancing I still cant figure out "Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box". But the green and gold getup is OK for a a cricketer or something, but just embarassing for a dancing routine!
*shitty mood COVID rant
Still no smell or taste. Busied myself with laundry and mopping to try and stop being angry. Can't go out in the backyard for too long because MIL had a dude over to cut down the bottlebrush tree and rip half the garden out. She hasn't got a plan really, just felt like replacing half the garden beds with more bloody lawn ๐คฆ๐ผโโ๏ธ. It wasn't necessary and looks shithouse, just like the barren wasteland of a front garden I try not to look at. Still strongly positive test, looks like I'm out of work until at least Wednesday. As a casual worker this isn't good.
I generally despise lawn. Itโs boring, water hungry, and itchy. Use clover or chamomile or something instead.
I confess: I was up all night playing contraband police (I was stuck on a level and it was annoying me), playing some missionchief, and messing around with JavaScript and python.
I don't understand JavaScript and evidently chatgpt doesn't either, because my attempt at modifying a chrome extension didn't quite work. But I used it to create a python script to take a few dozen JSON files from a web scraper, de-duplicate them, and output it to a CSV file, which can then be imported to google sheets and bulk archived onto the Wayback machine
People in Carlton shouldn't be allowed to wear black if they insist on jaywalking.
Australia is so beautiful, the colours are just incredible. ISS film footage from July. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojbBLENz15s
Stayed in bed for an alarming amount of time today watching Fast Forward and Full Frontal clips after someone on the other site mentioned that the infamous breakdancing reminded them of Jane Turner doing gymnastics as Berylina Stumpy...
Why do I sabotage myself like this! Spent a very large part of a very fine day in bed, when I actually HAD energy to do other things if I'd just put away the phone. Could've indulged in videos at night instead. Now I am behind on stuff for next week. At least I got a brisk 30min walk in rather than sitting in negativity.
Lovely day out with friends - love youuuu
Ever since, I deleted InstaGratification and Tik Toxic, I've noticed (finally) that my doomscrolling on those apps has been replaced with the following:
opening 500 tabs of long form videos and reading the comments to find out what the video talks about. Most of these videos are things to do with self-help, which I am exhausted learning about from information overload. It's like watching how to stop procrastinating videos and inadvertently using them to procrastinate. Trying to find out how I can do the work on myself is stopping me from actually doing the work.
compulsively googling every thought I have. This has lead me back to the other place, because a Redditor from seven years ago has had the exact same experience as I'm having. I think it's doing more harm than good though, and am thinking of avoiding Reddit altogether. I played my keyboard and ukulele for a bit, even though I have next to no dexterity, and I felt way more at peace doing that than actually trying to reassure myself that I'm going to be better by reading advice on how to be better.
The people in my life use junk content on social media to switch off, but my brain has been switched off for so long. It's time to get into the real world. Maybe one day I'll be able to be indoctrinated into Big Social Media again, and use it in a healthy way. Not today. Not tomorrow. Or the next day.
Facebook's AI search suggestions are crazy. Just saw one suggesting I might want to look for "mayo related customer service stories".
The morning sun is out. Iโve taken the deck chair and Iโm outside while having lots of toast!
Coffee incoming soon too.
Been awhile since Iโve been able to do this.
Edit. And what giveth, it taketh away too. Just dropped one slice of toast :(
Beep Beep ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ซ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฅญ๐๐ฅฅ๐ฅฆ๐ฅ๐ซ๐๐
๐ฅ๐ฅฌ๐ฅ๐ฝ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ง
๐ฅฏ๐๐ฅ๐ฅจ๐ง๐ง๐ฅ๐ง๐ณ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅฉ๐๐๐ซ๐๐๐๐ญ๐ฅ๐ง๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ฆช๐ฅ๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ชผ๐ฆ๐ ๐๐ฅฎ๐ข๐ก๐ง๐ฐ๐ง๐ฅง๐ฆ๐จ๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฌ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฏ๐ฅโ๏ธ๐ต๐บ๐ถ๐ฅค๐ง๐ง๐ฅ๐ท๐ฅ๐ธ๐น๐ง๐
I'll take the kids on a other ride with the bicycle users group today if everything works out.
We went on one a few months ago and haven't made it since from a mix of the weather, being sick, and other plans.
They're a good group so I don't want to be one and done with them
Awake after some very strange but weirdly satisfying dreams (ok one brief nightmare at 12 about escaping my dad - but felt good to remind myself I'm quite safe here and have choices)
Feeling really good after yesterday, I think it must be the extra sun exposure. I take plenty of vit D but there must be something else about the sun that's just really good for the body...
Don't want to be up though, so I shall just snuggle in bed feeling grateful and secure reflecting on all the good things I've got
Still got a lot of stuff piled around in boxes and was too tired to tackle it last weekend, so I will resist the lure of the beach and work on it today.
The Seine is the river that keeps on giving. Warning don't read this if you're eating your breakfast.
It's like holding swimming races in the Yarra and expecting the swimmers flesh not to slough away from the pollution ๐ but way worse with all the ancient sewage lines flowing into the Seine, the catacombs, illegal dumping by companies etc. ๐คข๐คข
Oui oui!
So generous. Itโs the olympics souvenir of french gastro microbes you get to take home and keep for several days to weeks after the games.
Iโm trying to force myself to sort out everything thatโs been allowed to slide, take care of myself better, but am getting really anxious in the process. I keep running out of energy after doing something.
Also spending even on essentials is stressing me out. Iโm still doing alright (touch wood) but it feels like another financial hit is always right around the corner and it induces a kind of panic. At this point I think itโs just ingrained. If youโre not aggressively saving you might regret it.
Procrastinating watching my uni lectures by trying to play Sweet Child O' Mine on the ukulele. I don't know how to read tabs.
Dog revoked his spot in the sun to lie to the shade. Spot stolen!
My sister and my aunt decided to get cinnamon rolls, so I am awaiting those.
Hopefully the rest of the day will be enjoyable.
The sunny sky today has given me a lighter mood. And is going to be 20C the next few days!
Sky pretty.
It's far too cold to get out of bed and look, so I'll take your word for it
Anyone involved in support groups for chronic illness /pain? I have zero support group but feel validated seeing posts on instagram that mirror my experience.