7 insane assumptions
Has anyone noticed how crazy I am?
this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2024
157 points (85.2% liked)
Greentext
4319 readers
1017 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Plenty of straight men prefer cats too.
Obviously cats are better
And plenty of people that aren't straight men prefer dogs.
True, but that doesn't help me espouse on the superiority of cats. How else will I gain Mittens' approval?
You won't. It's a cat. Cats never approve. Cats don't know affection.
Cats are conflicting for me. They can be cute, but I hate when they try to walk on me. Because I know if I try to move them they’ll probably scratch me. And that’s no bueno to me, just makes me anxious as fuck when they walk my way while i’m sitting on a couch trying to relax.
my cats walk over me like i'm a carpet. sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night with a paw in my mouth or a cats ass on my face. but they never scratch me on purpose.
It’s more when I’ve tried to pick them up, they try to dig in because they don’t want to be picked up. It’s a catch 22 situation.
load more comments
(5 replies)
Dogs are too energetic and overstimulating for me to be around. I'm fairly allergic to them as well, so I have a decent excuse for the people who insist their dog will be perfectly well-behaved and calm (they weren't).
There are some really lazy breeds out there. Like great danes. They are giant couch potatoes. You will have to give up your couch though.
load more comments
(5 replies)
- Makes shit up
- It doesn't make sense
- mfw
Enby who prefers dogs here. I guess I break things?
I’m sorry, there’s a greentext on the internet that disagrees with you. You are a cat person now.
There’s a difference between a cat person and a catperson. I am definitely the latter.
Enby petplay gang rise up
What's going on here is OP is making a lot of baseless generalizations.
Straight man here. I love cats. But I hate litter boxes, and cats fuck shit up.
its okay. you can come out ;)
Same. Having a dog is too much like having a kid with how much attention they require. A cat even when it's being "demanding" just wants to sit on you. You don't have to take it for walks or go out and play in the yard. I love other people's dogs but I don't have time to have one of my own.
What do bisexuals and asexuals prefer? Both or neither? And bold of you to assume straight women prefer cats. Ik way more straight women who prefer dogs than cats.
Sexuality is “never” here: Cats.
my head canon is that it's whichever one shows up at some random non descript point in your life.
Fucking being only a dog or cat person. I love most animals. The only issues are whether or not I can give them what they need.
The amount of people buying birds and neglecting them is depressing. Same for dogs, but less so.
Lesbians go either way here ironically
The stereotype (that I'm aware of) is that lesbians love dogs.
Yeah you have dog lesbians (me) and cat lesbians (my wife if she wasn’t allergic). Mind you cats love me too, and I love them back. But yeah both groups exist as internal stereotypes.
Honest (and depressing) answer: dogs are larger and more expensive, so anyone who isn't living on dual-income will prefer a cat. Being a woman is expensive, transitioning is expensive, being a guy who "just needs a bed and 4 walls" is cheaper, so dogs are back on the table.
What do women need that's so much more expensive than what men need?
Look up "pink tax" and "gender pay gap".
Tampons and whatever the latest trendy things are?
I have no idea how many tampons a woman needs in a month, but a pack of 32 is €5 so that can't be a big expense
And whatever the latest trend is, is not something necessary so you can't blame it on that either
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Families and children prefer dogs.
The correct answer is lizard. No musk, no fur, no allergens. Just needs an appropriate vivarium and a light bulb. If you design it right, you only need to spot clean once a week for what the woodlice don't take care of. Feed him once or twice a week, you can leave him alone for literal days at a time. Costs less than £20 a month in food and electricity. Landlords love them, no chance of the tank bursting and water going everywhere. Literally safer than a fish.
Best pet for the modern poor and disenfranchised citizen
Dogs are children who require constant attention.
Cats are adults who just want to crash on your couch.
load more comments
(1 replies)
We're through the looking glass here people
i'm pretty sure that amazing robotic pets are right around the corner, but i've always assumed that they would be doggy style. this post made me realize that in fact they should be alpaca.
If the Internet is any indication they will be long furbys.
You can definitely get some amazing doggy style robots that'll pet you now days. What were we talking about again?
Dogs need more maintenance and care. Men are just naturally more caring.
Dogs tolerate a lot. Cats set clear boundries. Men just naturally don't care about other people's boundries. /s
load more comments
(1 replies)
view more: next ›