this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2024
1110 points (99.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26749 readers
3865 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 48 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 160 points 4 months ago (3 children)

"The hotel was perfect but the weather was bad." 3/5

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 months ago (1 children)

that's the essence of many reviews unfortunately ha

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Sometimes for gits and shiggles, I'll check the one star reviews for things I know are going to trip inexperienced people up.

Like... It's basically the "substituted flour with powdered eggplant and milk with tobacco sauce, 1/10 tasted horrible but I followed the recipe exactly" meme

Especially anything with DIY properties. "doesn't work, connected to the battery and it immediately blew up" when it's clear from the picture they hooked a 48v battery into a 12v speed controller. Or cut some wires they weren't supposed to. Or reversed polarity of an important component. Or....

And rather than admit they fucked it up, they give bad reviews.

I particularly like when the listing is clearly for something that requires assembly, and bad reviews complain it came "in pieces". READ, YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKERS

And if you see a bunch of bad grammar, and inconsistent specs in a listing.... Maybe don't put too much faith in the $5 item that would cost $100 if you bought it from a licensed and certified source with quality assurance...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What meme? I can't find anything because it just keeps showing me eggplant recipes.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

The meme is people replacing ingredients with others and complaining when it doesn't work

https://www.reddit.com/r/ididnthaveeggs/

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's probably great, but UPS lost it. 1/5. Would be 0/5 if I could give 0.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Just arrived today and looks great but haven't had a chance to try it yet. 5/5

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Why do they use [FedEx/UPS/USPS]?! [FedEx/UPS/USPS] can never find my house! [FedEx/UPS/USPS] is the WORST shipping service of all of them! Product is amazing though.

-three separate one-star reviews

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

POV: 3 separate 1-star reviews are as good as one 3-star review

[–] [email protected] 69 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 68 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I can give myself a handjob. You want that fifth star you better get to suckin.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

something something Marilyn Manson something something bottom two ribs

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Meh that's an old fake story.

The guy from Whitest Kids You Know on the other hand, he fell off a balcony after successfully giving himself a blowie.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Dude was a sexual powerhouse. Rip

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

yeah iirc his will asked to be identified as "local sexpot" in the obituary.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Is that actually real? Googled it and I found the accident, but nothing about autofellatio

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

He did fall from a balcony. His fellow wkuk cast members said he died sucking his own dick as their way of honoring him with humor.

https://youtu.be/glDqt6K7_D8

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Lol I forgot about drowning in his own cum.

I give those guys so much respect for going through with honoring him like that. Not many people would actually do that after a close friend dies.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Pythons showing respect for Graham Chapman's ashes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox9bcx_LZMs

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

yeah it's probably bollocks but people of a...certain vintage can't think of stories of sucking oneself off without making the link to big Brian himself.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Yes. Here's a lovely song explaining it: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6HQgKGOFHFE

[–] [email protected] 53 points 4 months ago

One star off because the doctor is the one who hit them with a Mercedes

[–] [email protected] 46 points 4 months ago (2 children)

There‘s an intrinsic bias to never (or rarely) give the maximum or minimum on a rating scale. source

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

I don't bother writing a review unless it's a one or five star. Maybe a particularly offensive two star

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

But really! In Japan, most people do 3 stars for great service. Most good businesses have 2.5-3.5 stars.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 4 months ago

That 5th star was for making his life worth saving.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 4 months ago

One way to get five star ratings would be climbing a tall building, enabling GOD MODE, and then blasting anything that moves with RPGs... At least that's how I remember GTA San Andreas

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Saved their life, put them into crippling medical debt.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Well that's on insurance, not the doctor.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Actually it's on the hospital Chargemaster

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Either way, it's not the doctor, who's probably in crippling student loan debt. And this doctor looks young enough to have a huge amount of it.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago

It could be on the doctor if they're in individual practice, probably aren't though

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 months ago

Imagine seen the light, feeling the peace and the BAM... an asshole saved your life. And he thinks he deserves 5 stars. The audacity

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago

A nihilist probably wouldn't leave a review, or would. Honestly, it doesn't matter.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

I worked in craft beer marketing for a while and the running joke about untapped was something like...

"Best lager I've ever had... I don't like lagers. 1 star."

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Hi, nihilist here, and I would have probably left instructions to give him five stars if he was cool about it. I mean I'm not going to recommend a jerk even if I'm already dead.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Here Lies Etterra,

His doctor was a jerk. Do not recommend.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I have no idea why my Uber rating (passenger) is 4.7.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago

2/5 passenger didn't listen to me talk about

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"Dr. Lewis saved my life!" One star, because they wanted to die

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Maybe it was just coincidence that the patient survived when Dr. Lewis intervened. Correlation is not causation, after all.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Have to do it again but this time do it under an hour.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Beating good old amputation speedrun with 300% mortality?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Did he check his whole island for weeds?