this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2024
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Look right, I can remember retro g*mers making jokes about the Game Gear being 2big and 2heavy back in the day, probably in the 2000s. Classic Game Room watchers remember. Same for the Lynx. The Wii U's tea tray controller was derided for being beeeeg. I can also recall people saying that the PS Vita was kinda large back when it came out, which tbf it is pushing the definition of "pocketable" for the boys and takes up a lot of purse space.

It sort of felt like reality broke down in 2017. The first thing I did when the Switch was announced was make a joke about putting a Game Gear in your pocket, but suddenly nobody else gave a damn that the Switch is like ten inches long. Most dildos are not that long.... makima-huh I get that it's a hybrid, but suddenly the dynamic shifted from "if it can't fit my dude pockets it's no good!" to "aw yeah bruh just get a hardcase and throw it in a backpack!" I do support backpack gang, but you almost may as well get a laptop at that point.

Handheld size has become progressively more comical over the years though, with my favourite example being the Steam Deck which is actually considerably longer than a Wii U Gamepad at an XL 13" panting Tell ya what, I couldn't fit that!!

I'm not really against the existence of larger handhelds on its own, I have long fingers and a DS Lite or PS Vita will give me handcramps sometimes. But it's like a weirder version of when all phones became "phablets" and impossible to use with one hand, suddenly all handhelds are as big as the Wii U pad. (Switch Lite excluded, though it's still larger than a Vita) It also seems like the PS Vita and 3DS primed everyone to accept hilariously short battery life? The PSP 3000/Go and DS Lite/DSi could get anywhere from 8 to 20 hours depending on your settings, that was awesome. The 3DS and Vita won't hold out for more than three hours under duress, though. Most modern portable PCs have worse battery than that, even...

I guess I'm just wondering wha happun??? I know there's a large contingent of people who never take handhelds outside the house anyway (based) and just use them on the couch, but I don't think the Deck would be much more pleasant to handle in an armchair or whatever. That's one thicc-ass boi.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 months ago (4 children)

the handheld market died with the 3DS

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (15 children)
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[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

RIP to a real one

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago (2 children)

The actual handheld size handheld market is now all chinese emulator machines from companies like powkiddy and anbernic (and also smartphones)

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)

And those are progressively getting bigger lol

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

There are so many of the fuckin things they come in every possible size

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

Too small to embrace; slips through my fingers.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Real, the RG 35xxSP looks rad. I do miss dedicated handhelds a little tho...

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

They have to compete with smartphones, and that seems to have settled on the switch/steamdeck size.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (3 children)

The GBA was peak handheld tech. I had the SP too but honestly still preferred the OG over it.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The SP had a vastly superior screen, but the ergonomics were way better on the OG for my gorilla hands

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (2 children)

The OG was comfy but MY GAWD was it ever impossible to see ANYTHING in Castlevania…

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (5 children)

Konami's team really did just say "Skill issue. Why don't you have night vision? Nerd."

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (7 children)

Do you just not remember the screen at all? Or the cost of all those AA batteries? The SP's screen and rechargability was a huge deal at the time

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (4 children)

I don't understand this meme :/ the GBA is more comfy than an SP but that's not saying much. The GBA itself had enough graphical and processing capability to go around but its sound setup suuuuucked. I think the DS was probably better tbh.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

Stay unsullied comrade!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

The worst kind of person

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (5 children)

Why was the game gear too big, but the steam deck isn't?

Well you see, as you grow older and become an adult, your eyes get worse but your hands and pockets become larger (usually trans-uno )

But actually though, I think people would've complained less about the game gear or the Lynx if the size of the screens was much larger than they were, in comparison to the size of the unit. Screen-to-Body ratio is more critical than you think for handhelds, and people are more willing to put up with a large device if the screen is appropriately larger. If the screen on a steam deck or Switch was only 4 inches diagonally, people would be bitching a lot more.

The Wii U gamepad, you've got me there. Idk, I think people just weren't ready for it yet, and it was literally just a controller that you couldn't even use while charging or as the main display at launch. The form factor of the gamepad was thinking so far ahead of where the software or hardware was that it probably shouldn't be surprising that freeze-gamers didn't get it.

Also, this week was the first time I've charged my 3ds in over a year and I still play a ton of New Leaf, idk what you're on about with a 3 hour battery life.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

I did think about the childhood -> adulthood pipeline =) and you might be right about the screens.

Depends which 3DS you have, I think the New/XL gets a little more mileage but a launch 3DS has a stated battery of 3-5 hours and Fire Emblem Awakening drains it in about that.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Have you considered that maybe everyone is wearing jncos again so pockets are bigger?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The news of women being allowed to have pockets is yet to reach me lea-finger-guns

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (4 children)

I made myself 18th century detached pockets, and you can modernise their side tying skirts and wear the pockets on the inside. Pocket your wine bottle, pocket your cat!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (2 children)

most dildos are not that long...!

Uhhh volcel police? We've got another one here

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

madeline-smug I wanted g*mers to have to consider the absolute length of the hardware they're handling, you know?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

And the girth??? Handhelds can be long and thin or short and bulky!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Nothin' wrong with a short, bulky one!

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (4 children)

For smartphones I think a significant driver of their ever-increasing sizes is that battery technology is lagging behind power demand. The worst thing of having a small phone these days is that the battery lasts less than a day. Big screens used to be too power hungry to be practical but LEDs are extremely efficient these days.

My prediction is that we'll return to the miniaturization craze of the 1990s whenever the next breakthrough in battery technology happens.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I will say power demand is at least partly driven by constantly on tracking and advertising. Most of what I actually do on the phone could be done with an irc channel and text-only Web browser

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Everything mobile is a bloated app based on electron or some shit sadness-abysmal

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (4 children)

people started to demand console game experiences on handheld for the most part.

comoanies decided they wanted to close the gap more, to avoid the situation square enix had with DQ11 (where they basically designed the game side by side with the PS4 version)

handhelds with it got both bigger, and required active cooling, which is part of the reason it got bigger.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (3 children)

As with the phallic-obsessive throughline of the post, the bigger the gear, the lazier and more incompetent you can be providing a serviceable ride. Anybody can build a gmer rig in an atx case. You can shit out a steamdeck without needing to order too many specialized parts or actually figure out what you're doing, and gmers are by nd large hogs hooked on the easiest available dopamine supplying skinner box so it makes sense they'd give in to the thickness

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (6 children)

If people need to scratch a gaming itch on the go, their smartphones will tide them over now. The new "portable" systems work best when you're settled in either at home or on the go and are pretty awkward in other contexts.

Mobile gaming is either smartphone games or retro systems/emulators at this point sadness

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago
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