- Swimmer
- Wrestler
- Bodybuilder
- Boy scout
- Roman Catholic Parochial system
This is the gayest biography if there ever was one.
this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2024
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chapotraphouse
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founded 3 years ago
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NOT Gay
never acted on a single one of those urges
I'm thinking it's a bit because of that part.
lmao I didn't got to that part
Yes I grinded against another guy to pin them down and establish dominance. No, it totally isn't gay.
"im not gay! im not gay!!", i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob
You say that but have you considered he went to a all-boys boarding school?
I did all of those to some degree except catholic school. I'm straight. You know what I would say if I was in that guy's situation? "lmao"
You know how much freedom I feel when the LGBT+ are free? Folks, it's bigly 
! I have a bone to pick with everyone who goes "fellas, is it gay to drink pink lemonade?" I want a world where you love who you love and do what you do. Cause I want to be in that arcade with the crane games where the people are wearing the LGBT pins waaaaaaay more than I want to pay $8 for a hotdog at a baseball game.
I’ve had my fair share of male on male dreams and that’s how I know I’m absolutely positively not a homosexual. I’ve never acted on a single one of those urges.
hang on, you’re constantly dreaming of gay sex and repressing ongoing gay urges and that is supposed to prove you’re not gay?
eww, it’s a fuckin’ creep doing a bit for attention
$EGIRL
Hell world
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spending your life in catholic school isn't the "I'm not gay!!!" defense he thinks it is lol
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However, I am a libertarian and I'm totally fine with people practicing love however they want on their own property.
You're not allowed to be gay if you're a renter
Edit: also the I am a libertarian bit makes it seem like he's cool with 
on their own property
coming soon to /r/landlords: As a Catholic landowner, how can I legally check that my tenants are not engaging in homosexual activities on my property?
Definitely a bit.
Catholic guilt runs deep. I know a guy that came out this year at 31, which is fine, but I saw him kissing a guy when he was 18-19. He was engaged to a woman until 2022, too. He wasn't even under the influence, he just played it off as experimentation at uni which reaffirmed his straightness.
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This absolutely has to be a bit, I refuse to believe such a caricature of a person actually exists
This is a bit. The guy in the profile picture is a neo nazi hacker named “weev” who’s affiliated with Sam Hyde and various Nazi forums and media outlets. He fled to Lebanon or some other Arab country after being arrested for hacking. It’s likely not weev himself, just another fan.
Thank you Ryan Gosling. I loved you in Barbie.
it was too good to be true! too perfectly on the nose
Does anyone know the actor’s name? He has a fantastic ass.
This might break your world view a little bit, but that's not a man, this is a clip from a straight porn video.
seriously…? I’m going to fucking throw up…
Release your statement on how you're totally not straight.
I am addressing this once.
I am NOT straight.
I kissed men my entire life. I was a swimmer, wrestler, and pro bodybuilder. I was a Boy Scout for 10 years. I spent all my schooling within the Roman Catholic parochial system.
That being said, I’ve had my fair share of male on female dreams and that’s how I know I’m absolutely positively not a heterosexual. I’ve never acted on a single one of those urges.
However, I would not speak to my actions while on the property of others, as that is under their discretion according to John Locke‘s 2 commandments (the other being to love slavery).
Being bi or otherwise m-spec is so much easier because this never happens. A nice ass is a nice ass! Hell yeah.
"That's not a woman"
"Oh nice" 
in college, after class, i used to practice wrestling moves with my neighbor in his bedroom dojo. just 2-3 hours a day, then a quick shower together where sometimes we had gay sex, before going home to study and read the bible with my dad.
trust me, i would know if i was gay.
Just realizing that I have never had a man on man dream. Like 0 times. Is that weird?
not a fujoshi
No, that's normal. The only times I ever did it was super weird in a way I couldn't describe and then didn't think any further on that
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What Catholic homophobia does to a motherfucker
Couldn't be me
how do i achieve this ass shape for myself?
Have your friend grab it with their hands
friend
:deeper-sadness:
touch grass get ass
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Hey guys, I may dream of getting railed by another man but I'm totally not gay.
Bro has had gay wet dreams and insists he's straight cause he's never acted on it. Someone please tell him what repression is.
I'm so not gay that I repress my gay urges
"I'm not gay! But there's not anything wrong with it."
~Jerry Seinfield
obvious bit
The rational response would be to watch gay porn and see if you're gay
Shaking my dick in disapproval so everyone around me knows I'm not gay
Almost literally what I did when figuring I am bi lmao
Read through waiting for the "Don't worry bro it's only gay if the balls touch”
Holding hands in the loan office filling out paperwork for a mortgage. "Oh boy in 20 years we get to kiiisssssss" 
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