Think of how much worse it will be for those astronauts if Trump is elected
this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2024
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News breaks when he and the media are on the tarmac waiting to get on Air Force One.
"Wha?" He cones his ear with his hand. "The Boeing Spaceship blew up and the astronauts died? That's too bad. But it happens. Rocket fuel is dangerous. Very dangerous..." And then he tells a bizarre two minute story about "my uncle at MIT - the physicist who made airliner planes". For a few days lib media fulminates that he didn't give proper respect to the deceased astronauts who Lawrence O'Donnell calls "explorer heroes for humankind".
They're Boeing to die!
(Actually probably not, Space X, Russia, or China will have to send something up to rescue them, and I don't think Musk has a capsule ready for at least another 2 months.)
my money is on china
Country the USA does not allow on the ISS, builds its own space station, proceed to rescue all astronauts on the ISS
I swear to god, I I can't fucking wait. Ultimate China space race 2.0 victory
It would be extremely funny because most Americans believe China to be backwards. If this happens they'll be fuming with imperialist rage.
If things were to get that far, low key honest to god, I'd have fear in the back of my mind that the US might just lock down the media with every state apparatus available, shoot the fucker down, then manufacture a ballistic missile scare to somehow blame it all on Russia or the DPRK.
Step the fuck away from the lathe 
You can pry it spinning out of my cold hands, officer!
One more for the ages: This potential international incident is plausible because it can conclude in a way that doesn't significantly veer from the international status quo! If the current administration deemed this necessary to win the election, it's plausible the security and intelligence apparatus might deem it harmless enough to go forward!
This is on the basis that:
- China only loses an empty capsule and possibly their already poisoned reputation as a scientific and capable modern country among imperial core libs and chuds. Annoying, but ultimately this just confirms where they already stand.
- Russia loses two astronauts to this bullshit but is already in a proxy war with NATO anyway. Whatever their response is will be seen on the battlefield in Ukraine, only wasting lives that US state leadership has already demonstrated it does not care for.
- This means not much materially to the remainder of the imperial core than another civilian airliner accidentally shot down by some national military.
- And it all matters even less to the DPRK.
- China, Russia, and the DPRK all totally ban aerospace scientific cooperation with the United States going forward.
The US population as a whole memoryholes this after the media botches the story and the conspiracy somehow becomes a culture war issue, deciding the election one way or the other. By the inauguration, it remains too partisan for any respected government authority to declare any sort of realistic official story. Despite this, they are sure to keep any discussion of this being a deliberate move by the United States catergorized as misinfo under some new, vague internet regulatory agency started by executive order and later codified by congress.
Mainstream media diligently follows along with all the recommendations like the good little stenographers they are, and large lib social media companies follow suit instinctively, for a time banning the topic for being a foreign conspiracy. It doesn't matter which country they impotently end up blaming to anyone but US immigrants from that country.
I hate you
There's actually an open question on that. China's Shenzhou spacecraft was heavily based on Soyuz. But there's never been clear communication from the CNSA that the Shenzhou uses a standard Soyuz-style APAS docking system or if they modified it. It may not even be possible to dock Shenzhou to the ISS at all.
This lack of public information is pretty common unfortunately for those of us interested in spaceflight. It's not sinophobic to state that the CNSA is incredibly tight-lipped on specifications. They're very public with scientific research results relating to spaceflight, but almost never give the technical details on how they accomplish that research.
My bet is on NASA making a change to the Crew-9 flight in august, either to add physical seats or only send two astronauts up instead of the planned four. Adding new seats is theoretically possible as the Crew Dragon structure was originally designed to accommodate 7. But it may require modifications that might not be possible to complete before the flight. I think it more likely that NASA only sends up two astronauts. NASA doesn't like emergency design changes.
I will eat my hat before Bill Nelson would request a Soyuz from Russia. That is going to be his absolute last resort. Nelson is going to be under extreme pressure from the White House to make NASA's response a "made in the USA" solution.
If there's any company that would kill a bunch of astronauts through sheer incompetence during an election year and at a time when the US is looking weak on the national stage, I'd definitely put money on Boeing.
Possible putler agents?
Boeing is a SeeSeePee bot!
So obviously Bryce Dallas Howard directs the movie about this. Who stars? Whose the modern Tom Hanks, Bill Hader?
Chet Hanks
Huston...BIG UP THE WHOLE ISLAND
Chris Evans as Joe Biden
Bill hader is much closer to a gary kinese or bill paxton than hanks imo
Really? Maybe I haven’t seen him in enough, but I’ve never known him to have that sinese/paxton sexy-weasel quality.
have you watched barry?
Who? The Big Guy of course...
Bill Hader
definitely
What happens when time runs out? Do they just leave them there to die?
No, they'll just undock it and send it down unmanned, replacing it with an unmanned Dragon or Soyuz or something. This isn't any real emergency, it's just more bad news piling into Boeing at a time when they can't seem to do anything right
There is also a SpaceX dragon capsule currently docked to the ISS. That seats four. 8 people in space on the ISS right now. Maybe there's enough space with suits on, but I can't imagine there's much leg room for that road trip.
The Dragon in question is kitted for 3. There's also an emergency evac capsule (Still a Soyuz I think EDIT: Yes, Soyuz MS-25!). But that's only another 2-3 and having US astronauts brought back by Roscosmos would be.....embarassing.
Russia will do it just to flex
Have them touch down and recovered by a Russian crew, give them a massive welcome home and "mission accomplished" parade in Moscow before returning them to the U.S. 
the USSR would definitely have done this, shame russia isnt cool anymore 
The article says the 45 day window is due to fuel limitations with Starliner, so at that point I'd imagine they'd un-dock it and de-orbit without crew. Regardless they wouldn't leave the astronauts to die (I hope) and would mount a rescue mission.
wow, just an idea here - but maybe, just maybe, the space program shouldn't have been privatized
You think Biden is gonna prioritize this lol
The Shinra rocket from Final Fantasy VII had better build quality and their society was a techno dystopia steampunk thingy.
OF FUCKING COURSE LMAOOOO
Why is there a return window btw? What happen past it?