this post was submitted on 23 May 2024
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 6 months ago (1 children)

"Tiny shards" probably isn't the right term to describe particles 20-200 nanometers wide, but this is probably bad nonetheless.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

Wasn't scared about microplastics before this headline so it's effective.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 6 months ago (1 children)

But where will I put my pee

[–] [email protected] 38 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Your balls are evolving into plastic bottles. The solution is obvious...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

I found an automatic lemonade maker...

https://youtube.com/watch?v=lVz0XGErxvU

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago (1 children)

So like, could I find out who owns the rights to a plastic in me and then invoice them for the storage until they come and collect their goods?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

they send an intern with a spork.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Honestly, I want to be told, when they don't find micro plastics somewhere.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

I wonder if any of the Venus landers had plastic parts.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (2 children)

maybe this will finally motivate all the idiot men in congress to do something about plastic pollution. (and maybe climate change in general.)

[–] [email protected] 36 points 6 months ago

They don't care, they already know they're impotent..

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Nah, they've had their kids, they don't care.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Oh I thought this was going to be a recall.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

But wait, there's more! Wait until the ovary recall announcement!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

"tiny plastic shards found in human testicles"

Yeah, it was a rough night.

[–] Squirrel 1 points 6 months ago

They need to stop checking out our balls.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

The testicles?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

For science, of course.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

So, on the positive side, we'll now have extra protection for the boys?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Shards in me nards