this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
219 points (95.1% liked)

okmatewanker

625 readers
28 users here now

No foul language - i.e. French ๐Ÿคฎ

Obviously satire, dozy wankers

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

No word of a lie:

Jeremy Clarkson has secured the title of the UK's sexiest man for the second consecutive year.

The 64-year-old presenter surpassed notable contenders such as Prince William, Idris Elba, and Cillian Murphy in the annual poll conducted by IllicitEncounters, that brands itself โ€œthe best online dating site for married peopleโ€.

The Clarkson's Farm star achieved an impressive score of nine out of 10 points in the survey.

Meanwhile, Spider-Man actor Tom Holland secured the second spot in the UK's sexiest man list, which coincides with his return to the West End.

all 40 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[โ€“] [email protected] 67 points 6 months ago (1 children)

He's only 64? I feel like he's been 64 for 15 years

[โ€“] [email protected] 65 points 6 months ago (4 children)

UK

Cillian Murphy

at it again I see

[โ€“] [email protected] 29 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I feel there's additional context needed to explain this website and saying.

[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I assume it's a static page because we're always at it, we can't help ourselves.

[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Oh right! I thought the address was "Are the Brits a tit again"

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Username checks out.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

He's from the expressly not-British part.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Kilian Navyman, the famous brummie actor?

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Heh heh, I thought that.

[โ€“] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

Going to pretend to be Sigmund Freud for a minute and try make sense of this:

in the annual poll conducted by IllicitEncounters, that brands itself โ€œthe best online dating site for married peopleโ€.

Okay that makes sense, Clarkson's considered the sexiest man among middle aged adulterers that still use these niche sites. He's rich, powerful (or gives off that impression) and older.

Meanwhile, Spider-Man actor Tom Holland secured the second spot in the UK's sexiest man list, which coincides with his return to the West End.

Also makes sense, middle aged adulterers looking to relive their "glory days" and get with someone that looks much younger. The opposite of Clarkson.

[โ€“] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago

Freudist level of explanatory power there alright.

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

parenti quote but adjusted for middle aged adulterers

[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Ah, Britain's response to the...

[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago

Iโ€™m guessing this is what we left the EU for

[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago

when is he due to give birth?

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Notable contenders such as Prince William

xD

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I'd definitely go with Idris Alba, or Spider-Man, but I'm not a woman, or a gay man, so what do I know?

[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago

It's OK, women and gay men were unlikely to be well-represented amongst the people polled.

[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It's ok no one is straight enough not to be attracted to Idris Elba

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Cackles in asexual I possess no such weakness

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

I bet none of the other guys wept over the death of a piglet

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

What about Alfred Molina, then?

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (5 children)

I wish Lemmy stopped circle jerking to this abusive, racist old cunt.

Edit: I'm getting dowvoted because Lemmy jerks off to this old fuck. His racism is no secret, he's unapologetic about it. He assaults people over sandwiches. He's a garbage human, stop defending him.

[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago

I thought I had missed some kind of weird JC-lovers undercurrents on Lemmy but posts about him are few and far between - this is the first I could find on this instance's communities and it's very much in the right place.

[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

There was an interview with him in the Saturday Guardian recently which was basically along the lines of "I'm not an old cunt anymore"... Something about mellowing or it being an act or something... And then he proceeds to be an old cunt for the rest of the article.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I think it's probably true that he originally did his little insufferable racist act for money. But play the part long enough and it rubs off.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I think that age and good country living have mellowed him out a bit. He's not nearly as much of a stupid asshole in the latest season.

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

Edit: I'm getting dowvoted because Lemmy jerks off to this old fuck.

Don't kinkshame.

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

I mean the label's on the tin. Can't fault him for meeting expectations.

That said, it's almost all an act and tbh I don't really see the racist part. "the hill" comment was like one of those jokes he immediately was like "yeah shouldn't have said that" just blurted it out because the setup for the joke was red carpeted for him.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

What incidents do you remember?

[โ€“] [email protected] -1 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (2 children)

But they included an Irish guy in the list...

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Fair point, friend. But I didn't produce the list. Just pointing out a fact.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

He's at least from the British Isles.