Writing? Why? I just shout at my underlings.

The wheel? My jet doesn't need wheels, probably.

Math? Useless. I don't pay taxes so what's the point?

Sailing? My yacht doesn't have sails.

Laws? They don't apply to me.

Seals? Okay they are cute little freaks.

Very antisemitic! Palestinians have been killed, but by what? Nobody can tell for sure

I'd like to believe it's because everybody was still kung-fu fighting.

But it's actually because of the bigots I suppose?

Ah damn I don't have it. Is there some place where I could buy it? I've heard some pawn shops in Las Vegas might have it. I can call if necessary

I think it's a DnD roll with some advantage?

Thank you for your sacrifice

Don't make me read it again, I beg you. The average human brain can only cope with so many commas.

Humans, you claim you don't want to be fed to crabs. Yet you don't have a shell or claws to defend yourselves and you are soft and delicious. Curious.

-- Turning Point Crab

not raEd1ng tHAT esay! MAGA!!!

"2025: during the great war against the gays and windfarms, the president successfully strikes a masterful blow to his enemies by closing the twitter account of a Mars robot"

But why? Is it because of Biden? Please don't explain it to me.

I am even more disappointed by that guy's choice to work only 6 days a week.

I do not believe in sleep or rest.

I firmly believe that CEOs require diapers, not toilet breaks.

I used to shit myself continuously at the office, the stench was unbearable. And yet I went on, staying at my desk, asking people to come in to berate them.

I chose to be estranged by my whole family. My kids hate me. My wife despises me. My father won't talk to me. Even my mother loathes me.

I managed all that by dedicating every second of my life to my job, so that I can die miserably and get a gravestone saying 'lmao the shitman's dead, rest in shit loser'.