this post was submitted on 10 May 2024
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[–] [email protected] 64 points 6 months ago (2 children)

My dream is to die with absolutely nothing but massive bank debt. I have no living relatives, so there is no one to get the money from. I mean, "Hello Mr. Twat you have terminal cancer" next stop is the bank to take out the biggest loan my excellent credit will let me get. Tom Selleck the house go to Vegas bet it all on black until it's gone return home and burn the house down around me fuck the bank...a boy can dream lol

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Legally give a homeless person ownership of the house

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I'd totally do this if I had no family

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Those targeted ads aren't messing around

Edit: Personally I've already got an urn picked out for me. A probably too large coffee can of my favorite coffee brand.

I'd prefer it not get used for my ashes for at least a few more decades though.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago

Come on, man. Fuck it. Let’s go bowling.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 6 months ago (2 children)

You never see these meme quality ads with a € or £ price... its always $

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That's because America is Ferenginar.

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 6 months ago (6 children)

Graveyards are a waste of space & good land. Land is for the living. Cremation is the way; it is clean, responsible, & considerate.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago (3 children)

. I'd rather be harvested for any useful organs if I have any left healthy enough to save someone, then the rest of me thrown in some kind of corpse compost or bio reactor or something.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

There are composting options now I think.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

I'd like my ashes to go into a firework and be spread out all over my local area. Go out with a bang!

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (5 children)

I don't care what happens to my corpse, because I'll be dead then. Never understood, why people still care nowadays, religion I guess.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago

When I'm dead just throw me in the trash

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago

Casket+ includes a lid! Only $59.99/hour (surge pricing if used between hours of 10pm and 8am)

Don't you love your dead relatives? Or are you cheap?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Cremation. Tubes for ashes. Instructions to friends and family where to toss me and maybe plant a tree.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

I want my remains spread at the happiest place on Earth, Disneyland.

Also, I don’t want to be cremated.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

The final yeeeeeeet

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago

Paying for it after you need it seems like a bad business plan tbh.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Sky burial. Just chop me up and feed me to the vultures

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Sky burial. Throw me out of an airplane.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Sky burial. Throw me in a wood chipper.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

We probably gonna wait till you’re dead but fine

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago

Reddit is desperate for ads.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Just take that $22 per month and invest it instead. You'd come out on top

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

What can you invest with $22 per month (or $264 per year) that's actually turned a noticable profit? Even at 10% return you'd be looking at $26.4 gain per year.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That is essentially what this company is doing. They are investing your money until you die

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

My grandpa handmade his coffin with some really nice walnut. Quilted the inside I believe. He's still kicking, so it gets used as a prop at Halloween

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Death will be a subscription

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Better buy one now before they’re subscription only.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Costco sells caskets. Seriously. Order one online on the cheap.

Best part? They have multiple (positive) reviews.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

who is leaving those reviews? satisfied customers? Is internet access available to Costco customers after death?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Hit me up when you die and I'll set you up a wooden box for $22 straight up, just a once time payment.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Caskets really need some design updates. They look so depressing.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Hmm why aren't RGB coffins a legit thing? These casket makers need to get with the times and understand their audience lol

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (3 children)

It's actually something good to invest in. My wife's grandmother did it in like the 80s, and all the family had to do was pick out sandwiches for the wake.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My dad really wasnt much of a dad, when my grandmother died and he got left a little money we had a pretty frank conversation "I never expected you to leave me a cent, because I never expected you to have one. So do me a favor, prepay your funeral with some of this money then piss the rest up the wall for all I care. Just dont stick me with a bill when you go."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Can you not just 'leave it to his estate'? Are the next of kin legally responsible for that?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Well... I AM the next of kin. Its not like I hate the man, he was just a pretty shitty dad. He has friends and family who would want a funeral to attend. I can legally speaking say "Not my problem" and the government will give him a free cremation and return the ashes to me or my sister but thats it.

Me getting him to prepay it wasnt just a smart investment for me, it also meant that he couldnt kick the bucket at the worst possible time and put me in a position where I had to chose between looking after the best interests of my family and keeping the mortgage paid OR giving him a decent send off. Because honestly, in that spot he would lose.

Selfishly I do hope he doesnt manage to spend it all, but knowing its paid is just something I know I dont need to worry about.b

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