this post was submitted on 10 May 2024
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What happened with the sphinx though? (aussie.zone)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Transcription:

How To Confound A Centaur

Centaur: Hold it right there, you can't just ride through my fields uncontested! I'll lose my credibility if we don't battle or something.

Me: That's fair. How about we–

Centaur: And it can't be a pun battle, I heard what you did to the sphinx.

Me: Darn. Okay, what if I beat you in a horse race?

Centaur: Ha! Alright, your funeral. Where's the finish line?

Me: That tree over there. Where's your horse?

Centaur: (gestures at horsey backside) Um...?

Me: You're not a horse, this is a HORSE race. You have to race with an actual horse.

Centaur: You want me... a centaur... to RIDE a regular horse.

Me: That is, linguistically-speaking, what you agreed to.

Centaur: ...

Me: ...

Centaur: I hate you.

Me: That's fair.

----

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[–] [email protected] 154 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Sphinx: You there, knight. I am the guardian of this place and cannot allow you to pass without a battle.

Me: My name is Ender, Sir Ender to you. And I'm a bit weary from my long journey here, would you accept a pun battle?

Sphinx: Aye, Sir Ender.

Me: Thank you, please move aside

[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Is the Sphinx Scottish?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 months ago

To make the setup work, aye

[–] [email protected] 54 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

In case you're serious with the sphinx question: in ancient Greek myth the entrance to the city of Thebes was guarded by a sphinx who would only let you through if you could solve a riddle, otherwise the sphinx would eat you. Which riddle that would be changes from story to story but the most famous one is along the lines of "What creature walks on four legs in the morning, two at noon and three in the evening?". This was eventually solved by king Oedipus who realized it was a human who crawls as a baby, walks on two legs as an adult and needs a walking stick as a third leg when they're old. Depending on which version you read, the sphinx was either so shocked by him solving the riddle that it threw itself from a cliff or was simply slain by him.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 6 months ago

“What creature walks on four legs in the morning, two at noon and three in the evening?”

Traveler: Me, when I wake up with a hangover in the morning, sober up by noon, then get so much withdrawal that I need a walking cane on my way to the bar again in the evening.

Sphinx: You need help?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Depending on which version you read, the sphinx was either so shocked by him solving the riddle that it threw itself from a cliff or was simply slain by him

omg this part I did not know. I just thought it...let him pass.

But anyway, what does that have to do with the "pun battle" as posed in this story?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

Well, you could consider the solution to the riddle a pun though that's quite a stretch. Though there is at least one modern rendition (in German) that directly uses a more pun-ny solution. It does't quite translate to English but I'll try. Basically, Oedipus thinks and thinks until he starts to complain "Ach Mensch..." which is roughly equal to English "Oh boy..." but "Mensch" is literally the German for "human" so it's the right solution and the sphinx has to accept it. If you understand German, I highly recommend checking out this version. It's "König Ödipus" by Bodo Wartke. He plays all roles himself on a mostly empty stage with only a couple of props and it's absolutely hilarious. The sphinx is a lion hand puppet.

Edit: for anyone interested, here's a youtube clip of the scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DogC57ZJuY8 (German with German subtitles)

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)

which is roughly equal to English “Oh boy…”

English also has the phrase "oh man" with pretty much the same meaning. Plus, though this is slightly archaic today (depending on context), "man" can be a gender-neutral word meaning "human". So the same pun could work perfectly in English.

It's very clever, thanks for sharing!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, as I said in response to exocrinous, that would work. No idea why it slipped my mind when I typed my comment. I think I even thought of something similar, it sounded wrong in some way and so I went a different route.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Oh man, that's what I get for replying from my inbox and not checking the latest in the thread.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I see what you did there...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

😜

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The pun works equally well in English. "Aw, man!" has the same meaning as Ach mensch.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Oh right, that would work.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

“What creature walks on four legs in the morning, two at noon and three in the evening?”

A kobold. In the morning it scurries around on all fours, trying to get everything in order before its master wakes up. At midday, it stands at attention before its master. By the evening, it gets tired and leans on its tail a bit.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

I can confirm this to be correct.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 6 months ago

Clickbait YouTube title:

"Can you beat D&D using only Charisma?"

[–] [email protected] 36 points 6 months ago

When you least expect it, a horse-riding centaur...

salsa - https://www.deviantart.com/himerosy/art/DnD-Centaur-Mechanics-BaalBuddy-Colorized-911737977

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This pedant is hated my every fantastical creature in the realm.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

The Fey Hate This One Trick!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Is it gross if a centaur borks a regular horse?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (4 children)

And if the answer to that is yes...is it more or less gross than if the centaur borked a human?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Way less gross. Human and centaur are both intelligent, can communicate, and give consent, so it would be fine. With a horse (which has none of these things) the centaur would be committing bestiality.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Well, in many games there is a Speak With Animals spells or equivalent. They are capable of communication, we just usually can't understand.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago

Apply the Harkness test (self aware intelligence, physical maturity, and ability to communicate consent). Both humans and centaurs pass assuming the individual is a willing adult, horses fail twice due to being nonsapient and uncommunicative.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (2 children)

From the human perpective, probably the horse is a little bit less gross. From the centaur perpective, probably the human is less gross, but I’m only half centaur, so can’t speak for all of them.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (2 children)

The hooves must make it difficult for you to type.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Neigh, it’s the other half.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I'm only half centaur

does that mean you are 3/4 human and 1/4 horse?

Or 1/4 human, 3/4 horse?

Or 1/4 human, 1/4 horse and 1/2 something else?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Only their upper half is centaur - the lower half is human.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It depends how it flops.

Does it flop at the first set of legs, or the second?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Human part tends to end around the navel so... Second.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

I can't type what I'm thinking

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Would a centaur have two navels?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

They definitely have two ribcages. That might imply two hearts and multiples of other organs.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Sphinx was probably riddled with puns in that exchange.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Dog racing is dogs running without a rider. I'm sure there have happened riderless horseracing before. I spot a fault in the logic!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

Riderless horseracing maybe, but surely never horseless horseracing.