this post was submitted on 10 May 2024
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How To Confound A Centaur

Centaur: Hold it right there, you can't just ride through my fields uncontested! I'll lose my credibility if we don't battle or something.

Me: That's fair. How about we–

Centaur: And it can't be a pun battle, I heard what you did to the sphinx.

Me: Darn. Okay, what if I beat you in a horse race?

Centaur: Ha! Alright, your funeral. Where's the finish line?

Me: That tree over there. Where's your horse?

Centaur: (gestures at horsey backside) Um...?

Me: You're not a horse, this is a HORSE race. You have to race with an actual horse.

Centaur: You want me... a centaur... to RIDE a regular horse.

Me: That is, linguistically-speaking, what you agreed to.

Centaur: ...

Me: ...

Centaur: I hate you.

Me: That's fair.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Try pronouncing the 'a' in pan like the 'a' in large, then you'll end up with a rather well-done pun.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

So if you grossly mispronounce the word, it becomes a pun? I don't think that's a very good pun, tbh...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

To be honest, I don't really like it either, which might surprise you considering my last sentence. I just couldn't resist making a small pun myself.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Got a laugh from me, but I did mean only the 'a', not the 'ar'. I couldn't think of any other English word with that sound unfortunately, do you have a better suggestion?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Unfortunately I can't seem to get it to work for any sound with my hodgepodge of an English accent. Perhaps it could work with a very thick cockney accent, but the length of the vowel would be quite different between the two,

e.g. puhn and paahn

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I already do. Is this some weird thing only britoids or Australians understand?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

RP might use a similar vowel, but even most modern British people don't seem to pronounce these very similarly based on this pronouncing dictionary's advice and sample clips. And I can confirm as an Australian that Australian English accents don't pronounce them remotely similarly.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Ah, I failed to notice your instance which I why I asked about aussies.