this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2024
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (9 children)

sad posting, some negativity about being trans (directed inward you all are amazing), fears of transphobiaI'm just so sad and confused. It hurts. I'm so jealous of women. I hate my body. I wish I was born a girl. I'd never feel this way. I'd have other issues, obviously, but idk I just think I'd be happier with my body/socially. But I don't want to be trans :cri: it seems so hard. I wish I could just be cis. Why can't I be okay with being a guy. It's objectively got a lot of advantages. Why hexbear. And if I decided I was trans I'd be so terrible at it for so long 😢 everyone would just look at me like a man pretending to be a woman. A pervert. I don't want people to look at me like a disgusting creep :/ what did I do to deserve this. This sucks. I hate the idea of being trans.

Also if anyone has any advice on discussing this with my therapist (or if I even should) I'd appreciate it. I feel like I should know what I want before telling them but (emoji I can't remember the name of, it's the yellow face throwing hands upward in kinda defeat)

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (12 children)

Unjust Depths 10.1 discussionHoma is in fact the saddest and dorkiest lesbian. I just like her, I don't have to justify it cause if you know, you know. I love long, observational stream-of-consciousness bullshit cause I'm pretentious as fuck, and following Homa close to the shoulder from waking up in the morning to doing her dock job in the central tower is so fucking cool, mmmmm look at all this introspection and flavour, I posted it before but the scene of Homa feeling small and helpless whilst gazing out from the tram onto the massive central tower is fuckin brilliant. No notes.

It's a bonus too, if it gives us stuff like her imagining taking the civilian Volker at her work out to fight "bad guys", lol lmao. Homa has mech brainworms too, and I support it.

When she sees the "Pandora's Box" docking at her goofy dockworker job, I practically screamed. SAVE HER, TRANSBIAN COMMUNISTS!!! TRANSBIAN COMMUNISTS SAVE HER!!!!!!! I gotta say, reintroducing the Brigand by having it arrive to someone fresh is such a good move, this whole chapter fucks.

A workaday cat like Homa envied even the relatively small freedom of working on a ship.

LOOK at how fucking juicy her narration is, she is so fucking CHARACTERISED!!! Even when she is simping Ulyana, which critical support, lol. She IS IN FACT dorky and Ulyana knows it, which funny enough I find Ulyana's flirty nature very enjoyable compared to a Jayansakar, for instance. Idk what the difference is.

Homa lived 2500 meters below sea level of a scarred world without justice or peace.

Oh I knowwwwww the Depths are so Unjust to you, it isn't riiight ✨ This chapter has so many good lines, I didn't have much criticism for the prose and narration of prior chapters but I think the standard has risen for Anthology Two, ngl. Mostly you would get little specific scenes of stuff that would offer insight into whoever the camera was on, like Norn in the shower onboard the Antenora, or Ulyana and Aaliyah drinking together after the Gorge. I dunno if we've had this long an establishing "tracking shot" since Murati was introduced and I'm so here for it. Atomised, lonely, gay gay cat lady, the claws of the Imbrian empire having separated and distanced her from her own people.

I have asked funny leftist lady and she agreed that yes, the quality of just line-to-line writing, the prose and similes and general narration, has all seen a huge bump in quality since I last checked in circa 9.6 and Interlude II. Shit was already pretty good, but I fuckin drank this in and it gave me joy.

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