this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2024
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[–] [email protected] 128 points 9 months ago (5 children)

Told a friend how I was feeling and had a similar bill. $2500 with insurance. Probably won’t be talking about my feelings again unfortunately

[–] [email protected] 42 points 9 months ago (18 children)

This might sound unsympathetic, but it's easy to put someone else in a situation where they must call the police / ambulance.

It doesn't really matter how close a friend is. If you say you're at risk of harming yourself or others, they don't have a lot of options.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 9 months ago (8 children)

I work for a mental health crisis line. We are taught, with extremity, to always go for least intrusive intervention possible. We will only ever call Emergency Services after a literal check list to ensure it's the last resort possible.

Practically the only times we ever call EMS on someone is if they tell us they are actively dying this very second, due to injury or overdose, etc. Or if they, after all of our attempts to listen, empathize, talk about what's going on, talk about how they're feeling tonight, work on what options there might be, who in their lives might be able to help, listing resources, and attempting to safety plan; if after all that, they say "yeah, I'm gonna kill myself specifically in this fashion and I'm gonna do it right now, and I have the means available to me." Then hang up and don't answer when we call back. Then we call EMS.

It's drilled into us that EMS is expensive for the person, and potentially dangerous because police are often not great at responding to Mental Health emergencies. So always the last last last resort.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (10 children)

This so much...

Emergency services are like the absolute worst dog shit resource for mental health issues. 99% of the time they just make shit worse, I had to learn this the hard way.

It actually makes me mad that so many people suggest it as what you "should" do if someone is in crisis because it's just not made for that. Do not call 911 if you are having a panic attack or SI or even self harming in a non SI way, they will do nothing to help you and it will just cost a fuck load. Like you said the only time it makes sense is if you are actually dying from an attempt. Even MH practitioners say to call 911 when they should know better. I am glad your place seems to know what's up because so many people get the wrong advice on this issue and it actively hurts people. Maybe if the healthcare and police system were different going to the emergency room or calling 911 might be a good idea, but how they are now its just not.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The “wellness checks” are way too often murders. I would never call the cops to check in on someone because they’ll likely shoot them

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (9 children)

So many people seem to only care about life and not dignity. Locking someone up against their will for being suicidal will always be wrong in my mind. Unless they are threatening harm to someone else, then it might be warranted in order to protect the threatend person.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)

To be fair, your friends shouldn't be billing their time to your insurance.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

♥️ I care about your well-being Internet stranger. I too have those days and have come close to seeing it through. You aren't alone.

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[–] [email protected] 105 points 9 months ago (3 children)

I called no one and told no one and just let it bottle up. Totally a cheaper option but I wouldn't recommend that either.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 9 months ago

I tried the same technique and then ended up trying to kill myself using all the pills, but that just made me sick and throw up followed by tremors for a few weeks. I was twice a failure.

After a few more failed attempts and visits with bad therapists, I finally found professionals and medication that worked for me and I've been suicide-attempt-free for 13 years now! And the past 6 years have seen significantly more good days than bad.

You win this round, modern medicine...

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago

Not everyone is as lucky to be able to do that either.

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[–] [email protected] 89 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Some online friends called 911 on my son when he was just a few weeks shy of 18 and he was placed on a psych hold for a week for self-harming thoughts.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful they saw signs he’d managed to hide from us, but since the paperwork took a few weeks to process, he not only had to deal with his mental health issues, but also got an 18th birthday present of a $20,000 bill for inpatient services under his name. That definitely didn’t help his mental state at all, and it took years to sort it out.

Later, he told me all he learned from the whole experience was to never tell anyone what he really thinks. As a mom, that scares the shit out of me.

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[–] [email protected] 77 points 9 months ago

Crisistextline.org has helped me out of some dark places - it's no substitute for medical care, but it is free and they are always available. Hopefully someone will see this comment who can benefit from this service.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 8 months ago (8 children)

Dear Americans, I'm not writing this to gloat... But what the fuck have you let happen to your country. Health care is a human right!

I'm currently in hospital, for a second time in a month. First time, I came in with a "very nasty pneumonia", which turned into sepsis, I needed surgery to help clear the crap from my lung. They sent me home after 14 days. They also flew me from my local small hospitals to the bigger one I'm in now.

I was home for 4 days and started getting severe chest pains around my heart. So I'm back, feeling way better now, is a long weekend so no doctors to make decisions.... I'm stuck in here till Tuesday at least. On Tuesday it will be a total of 24 days. Various medications and treatments etc...

My expected bill at the end of all of this is $0.00.

The only real cost is the gas from hour each way for my family coming to visit. All meals are covered.

I honestly have no idea how much my time here is costing the national health service. The are no numbers discussed, everything is just what you need to get better.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago (3 children)

That's the Standart in about every developed nation on this planet. I don't get it either what the USA is trying to accomplish there.

A thing that isn't obvious seeing that insanely inflated prices is, that these are prices for individuals and won't be payed by insurances. If you have let's say a 70k hospital bill, the insurance might just say we only pay you 8k. The hospital then takes the 8k and writes of the other 68k as a loss. This results in the hospital not earning any money on paper and they don't pay taxes.

My favorite thing to look at, when it comes to these inflated prices in USA Healthcare ae the prices of saline solution.

Have a read if you're interested.

https://www.goodbill.com/hospital-price-of-saline

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Called the VA crisis line a while back, talked to a case worker and they told me they'd have someone pick me up. A little while later I get a knock on the door from a city cop with his holster unbuckled there to take me to the psych ward of our local shitty hospital.

Spent three days in what essentially was One Flew Over except my nurse Ratchet was a part time psychiatrist that didn't completely speak English, and was a total dick.

Ended up checking myself out because nothing was being accomplished there beside morning calisthenics. Later that week, I got a bill from the hospital for $1200, and the VA said they wouldn't cover it because I didn't call it in within 72 hours... Even though it was a VA rep that started the process, and it was related to a service-connected injury (PTSD).

This was over ten years ago, but it's comforting to know some things never change.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago

The VA screwed up my meds by sending them to a non existent address. So I had to go to the local ER to get them. (I'm not sure who would even ask for psych meds that aren't tranquilizers but apparently they're controlled just like opiates...) At any rate. Same story, I called first and they told me that's what I had to do. So I got a rideshare to the hospital because I was also having a really bad day. The local ER was really great. But the VA then sent me a bill. I called their number and they said I was supposed to drive myself 2 hours to the nearest VA hospital. I told them that would have been the worst choice I could have made and they could either pay for it or explain to Congress why I'm paying for their malfunction. And you know what? Somehow, some way it worked. They took it back and I never had to pay it.

But then they got me back on an ambulance ride years later, (after they swore to Congress they'd start paying for ambulance rides).

At any rate, I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Get what you can from the VA but never let them get you.

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 8 months ago (8 children)

Mental health hospitals are hellish too. I can’t fucking stand Married with Children, not because of how stupid or unfunny it is, but because it was always on and I get flashbacks.

I attempted years ago - because I was dead broke and about to have to drop out of college. When I got out, I had lost my job and had to do survival sex work to eat.

The power structure of those places facilitate horrific abuse. For example, the Indian man whose screams have haunted my dreams for the past ten years - a man who had no family, came to the facility with no clothing… the staff (and patients) bullied the shit out of him. No one in that hospital was interested in helping him.

The psychiatrist I saw for maybe 15 minutes at the beginning of the day. All they did was prescribe me meds. There wasn’t any really meaningful therapy, at least as I understood it? It was more of a holding pen.

I think in the US, the horrifying truth is that mental health resources are mostly illusory. 988 exists so that we can pass out 988 stickers and pens - we can be the good people providing help. Therapists exist, but the waiting lists for good ones can be months and there are thousands of disturbed LPCs who went in to counseling for the wrong reason.

CBT is a shitty modality for things like “I’m miserable because I can’t afford to eat” or “I’m stressed because I got fired from my job when they found out I was trans” or even something as dumb “my body tenses up and I can’t focus my eyes when hear the name Al Bundy.” It’s symptoms focused and can be harmful for certain situations. But it also is often the only modality that one can easily access.

The entire structure of the mental health system in America is horrifically broken, but fixing it would require a complete overhaul of the system. So instead it’s bandaids - employee assistance programs and chat hotlines.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm actually only surprised that she got the bill after one month.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

Maybe that's just the first bill.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 8 months ago (1 children)

That’ll teach you to have mental health problems. Now get back to work! This is America.

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 8 months ago (6 children)

Anyone calling 911 and thinking they are getting anything other than a bunch of thugs that will choatically escalate what ever situation you are in, I'm sorry.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 8 months ago (4 children)

There is no bad situation youd find yourself in that the police cant make worse

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 8 months ago (4 children)

I don't have severe mental health issues (although I do have them), but I am dealing with an undiagnosed medical issue and I am at the Mayo Clinic right now because of it. Before I came here, just from everything I've been through in the past year and a few months, we're thousands of dollars in medical debt. I am terrified of what the bill from Mayo will be. They are in our insurance network and we supposedly have "good" insurance, but how good can even good insurance be when you can rack up that sort of debt in under two years just so you can stay alive?

The for-profit healthcare system in America is the truly insane thing, far more insane than this woman was when she felt suicidal.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"If you're feeling suicidal please call for help you're not alone!"

The help:

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

You're not alone, your insurance's billing department will always be with you

[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I’ll do nothing for half as much money. It’s a great deal. Call now.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

I'll go so far as to tell you life is worth living and direct you to the suicide hotline for a measly $500.

On a serious note, if anyone has felt suicidal and is still here, I'm glad. I've been suicidal and been alone. I've been suicidal and had a friend stay with me. I've stayed with more than one friend who was ready to end it. I know how you feel and I know how it feels to lose someone and almost lose someone to suicide. Please get help (preferably without calling 911 unless there's no other way) if you're feeling that way because in the long run it's absolutely worth it.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago

This is why I never had a safety plan. I literally cannot afford what I need to feel better, and have to keep quiet or risk losing everything and still not be helped. Nobody will know I was in crisis until I'm gone.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago
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