askchapo

Best of luck!

Goddamn. Sending best wishes ❤️

Hell yeah!

Sending my best hugs and snuggles to both you and Mr Softie

May he soldier on to glory and catnip

New York. New Jersey. New Mexico. New Hampshire.

Get well soon!

These things can be negotiated in a relationship.

Of course partners do have to roll up their sleeves and participate in some of the unglamorous jobs some of the time, you might find someone who doesn't mind cleaning but who hates cooking or who gets exhausted by shopping where you would prefer to do those things all day as long it meant you could avoid doing an hour's worth of cleaning.

An equitable arrangement with a partner doesn't necessarily mean each person does half of the domestic duties.

I'm neurodivergent and I struggle with executive function so here are some tips to consider (although they may come off as bougie but, at least in my situation, these are accomodations):

• If you and future partners just both hate cleaning then consider hiring a cleaner because it's pretty much an investment in your free time and ultimately in the relationship itself

• If you hate cleaning then investing in a robot vacuum is worthwhile, especially if it has one of those mop pad attachments. It doesn't have to be the expensive, fancy ones that have a specific mopping mode because the simple mop pads can actually do a fair bit by themselves.

• I like to use reusable cleaning cloths and similar (e.g. flat mop cleaning pads) and to have extras on hand so whenever one cloth gets dirty I can just put it aside to dry and then it goes into a laundry bag. Once the laundry bag is full I wash the whole lot and dry them in one go rather than only having one or two on hand and needing to screw around and constantly handwash them

• Similar to the above but having cleaning gear on hand where it gets used - my kitchen has one of those magic brooms with a lobby pan so I can really easily and quickly sweep up anything and mostly I don't need to give a damn about emptying the pan for ages, a flat mop with a sprayer so I can instantly do spot cleaning quicker and easier than you'd be able to do it with paper towel and cleaning spray, plenty of spare cotton dishcloths so that any time one gets a bit dirty I just put it aside to be washed, I'm a big fan of having a spray bottle with diluted dishwashing liquid in it so I can just clean a couple of dishes without needing to fill up the sink. In my bathroom, I have a cleaning cloth and cleaning spray hanging in the shower and it's worth having a squeegee too especially one that has a foam side for cleaning/scrubbing glass.

I just try to make cleaning tasks as frictionless as possible, essentially.

There's other stuff that works but basically one of the best ways to manage cleaning duties is to break it up into little tasks where you can spend just a couple of minutes or less doing something as maintenance cleaning, especially when you've got time to kill or as you notice it. Instead of looking at your shower glass getting grubbier and grubbier while you think to yourself "I've really gotta do something about that...", having the equipment on hand to do it then and there lowers the barrier to getting it done by a lot.

Also this is probably going to sound weird but a lot of people who struggle with cleaning had it assigned to them as a chore or, worse yet, as a punishment. I'm all in favour of kids being assigned responsibilities and contributing to their homes, don't get me wrong, but if you teach a kid that a task is drudgery then you're guiding them to hate those tasks as an adult. Four things help with this:

1. Making it fun - put on some music or a podcast, allow yourself to be playful or silly or to turn it into a game like a race against the clock if it increases your enjoyment of it

2. Lowering your expectations on yourself - 50% clean is a lot cleaner than 0% clean. Not every job requires being a deep or perfect clean. Doing half of the dishes pile is still an accomplishment.

3. Treats. Either give yourself something enjoyable as a reward for tasks or x mins of cleaning completed, or intersperse rounds of gaming or episodes of a show with a set cleaning tasks or designated number of minutes cleaning (e.g. between episodes I will run a timer and do 5 mins of tidying up.)

4. Actually take the time to appreciate your efforts and your work. Show gratitude to yourself and mentally congratulate yourself on what you have achieved, even if it's only small.

That's good! Glad it's working out! 10 days is a while, hope things stay cool!

Hell yeah! That all sounds great! And shoot me a DM for the new stuff, I've got 2 cuts I can send you

I don't suppose the nonprofit you're at hires remote people?

Hell yeah!

Gla to hear it! Hope the WDs calm down soon!

Sending love and good vibes. Hope everything works out positively

Go see if they're partying. Maybe they'll share snacks.

Feel better!