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submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

(Phoenix, AZ) As the nation works to discuss the assassination of Charlie Kirk without bringing up gun violence, the White House has announced that Donald Trump will lead the organization going forward. “It’s a sad time, very sad,” said the president at his New Jersey golf course. “We know Charlie’s family is sad and America is sad. I know they want me to take over until his son is old enough to take over.”

Turning Point, a corporation with its own board of directors and chain of succession, says they are reaching out to the president to clarify his symbolic leadership of the firm. But trumps office clearly responded as if the president ran the organization. “The president is planning to move the headquarters to JD Vance’s old office once he moves,” said Karoline Leavitt to reporters, “and has a new logo commemorating Charlie being commissioned at a gold leaf factory. The president is excited to do the work.”

When asked how this would affect the president’s current work administering the country, Leavitt had no comment.

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[-] [email protected] 34 points 1 week ago

Going to save this one for the old the onion turned out to be true file

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago

I had to write fast before he announced it.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago
[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Lmao, that's an awesome article. Oh how I long for such an innocent time.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Didn't SNL do a skit about that even longer before?

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I don’t think so… But if you find something, please let me know!

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

In the very first episode of SNL, actually, back in 1975, mocking the concept of a triple-bladed razor.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

I’ll have to check it out!

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago

Wow, I but the onion there for a minute

It was a giveaway that he didn’t consent on the wife’s physical attractiveness though before making it about himself.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Hopefully he goes on a college speaking tour.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

I'm gonna be hearing raven's for a week after getting hit this hard by Poe's Law.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

And then vance goes and hosts the show just to insult my art.

this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2025
122 points (98.4% liked)

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