• Topless scene from the side that quickly cuts away as the woman undresses in front of a man.
• Films deals with the criminal underworld including prostitution. Women work in bars as hostesses wearing dresses that expose ample cleavage.
• Two scenes of implied sex, though nothing at all is shown. A woman is seen wearing pantyhose before going to "bed", this can be seen in the film images. This same woman lies in bed topless after an implied scene with her arms covering her breasts. A brief glimpse of a breast as she changes positions in bed.
• Two brief topless scenes.

• A pimp talks about beating his girlfriend because he lost his temper. This discussion is short and no form of violence against women is shown.
• A woman is slapped hard in the face by an older man.
• A man is shot in the back. Some blood comes out of his mouth.
• A brief shootout. A man is shot and is seen dying.

• In the English translation, a man calls another man an a-hole. However, little profanity is spoken.

• A man threatens to break a woman's arm. A man slaps and hits two women.

• The film revolves around jealousy, especially relating to sexual affairs. This is significantly dark for an Ozu film.

• A man and woman kiss each other, this is very short.
• Four characters are in swimming costumes in a pool.

• Motherf***er is said twice in one scene, as the characters are at a football match.
• S**t is said once.

• A woman smokes throughout the film.
• The main characters drink wine during a meal.

• Several discussions about sex andremoved. Some scenes of kisses and groping, no nudity shown.
• A characterremoveds another character and one of the protagonists cheers about it. Theremoved is shown but without nudity. See also Frightening & Intense Scenes.

• No sex or nudity, and some mild sexual talk.
• A sex worker says that she moved from Amsterdam to Bruges so she could "get more money for my pussy."
• Some brief, non-graphic discussion of sex
• A brief scene of man and woman kissing on a bed (no nudity or sex happens because they are interrupted).
• Mention of prostitution for comedic effect
• Two sex workers with two men in a room, one sitting on the lap of one of them, wearing revealing clothes and kissing.
• A man with a sex worker, she is wearing shorts while camera zooms on her legs. They kiss.

• Little to no blood until the last 30 minutes. Then there is extreme violence with blood, blood splatters, detailed gore / gory aftermath, suicide, and implied violence against a child.
• Ray punches a man in the face and then punches the mans girlfriend.
• A character head-butts a man and we see blood coming out of his nose. The character then shoots the man in the eyes with "blanks," leaving the man blinded.
• Harry starts to beat a man in the face. This is done off screen but the sounds and screams can be heard.

• Lots of Irish slang and swears.
• 100 uses of "fuck", 20 uses of "shit", 4 uses of "removed" (7 of them in one scene), 2 uses of "cock", 2 uses of "shag" British slang for "to have sex", and 1 use of "wanker". Also there are a couple uses of "poof."

• Chloe mentions that she sells heroin and cocaine to the members of a movie cast. She tells us that she sold horse tranquilizer to one of them.
• Ray finds cocaine (5 grams) and other drugs (Acid and ecstasy).
• Ray says that he snorts about a gram of the cocaine.
• We see a group of men and women snorting cocaine and drinking alcohol.
• Ray mentions the acid and ecstasy.
• There a few scenes of casual drinking and smoking.

• It's a dark comedy
• Heavy themes of depression, mortality, heaven, hell, redemption, and coming to terms with your own guilt.
• This film is very violent. The second half of the film is far more intense than the first half. The bell tower scene at the end is frightening and final ten minutes are intense.
• Ken's death may be sad for some
• After accidentally shooting a short man in the head during a gunfight, the shooter mistakes it to be a child, and he subsequently shoots himself in the mouth. Disturbing and a bit sad, considering the context of the rest of the film.
• A child is shown shot in the head due to a failed hit. It is treated seriously and has a heavy effect on Ray.
• Ray is suicidal and extremely depressed throughout the movie, at one point nearly shooting himself at a playground.

• An artful painting of a nude lady is seen in the background very briefly, maybe one second.
• There is one scene of brief partial nudity when a stripper wearing pasties dances in the background. At minute marker 58:50.

• People are shot and killed.
• People describe the death of a character from being hit by a car, but not in detail.
• A man is murdered offscreen -- the only thing shown is the body-bag being taken out of the building.
• Two people are shot, one being shown onscreen. No visible wound or blood.

• One utterance of "God," and one of "Lord."

• References of a black market implied drug dealing but not out right mentioned and never shown.
• Various scenes of people smoking and drinking in social situations. In one instance, a man becomes intoxicated at a bar.

• A man disturbingly speaks of people as though they are meaningless to him.
• This movie is very suspenseful and intense, especially the ending scene.

• Two separate brief scenes of a fully nude man.
• Fletcher Munson masturbates in the bathroom. (no nudity)
• Elmo Oxygen makes lewd sexual gestures. (A table blocks the view.)
• Munson masturbates in bed. (no nudity and very brief)
• Dr. Jeffrey Korchek masturbates in bed. (no nudity and very brief).
• Mrs. Munson opens a package containing an adult VHS called "Heavy Weight Honeys" and watches a bit of it. (off screen)
• Mrs. Munson commits adultery throughout the film.

• Multiple assaults.
• Two fights.
• One act of gun violence.
• None of the violence is graphic, although one scene of assault is rather intense for a comedy.

• Multiple instance of profanity. ("ass" "damn" "fuck" "screw" "shit" "suck")
• Three uses of derogatory terms. ("babe" "bitch")
• Three uses of an insult. ("worm")
• Two instance of religious profanity. ("god" "hell")

• Three instance of cigarette smoking.

• A nude pagan cult is seen running through a forest. Although most of the nudity is obscure, we briefly see a close shot of a naked woman. Full-frontal and pubic hair is shown.
• There is full frontal male and female nudity for about two minutes during a scene, though the view is somewhat limited by the movement of the actors, though everything can be seen.
• A man does a handstand and his bare butt is seen.
• A group of men and women run through the woods and wade through a river in the nude. Again, nonsexual and completely obscured by shadows
• Moaning sounds of a woman while kissing can be heard. Nothing is seen.
• A woman is seen jumping from a stair. Her skirt flips up but it's unintentional and obscured by the darkness
• A man (who is tied up) discuses morality with a woman. The woman suddenly kisses him then. Afterwards she strip naked. The scene last for a short moment.
• A woman's robe slips off as she's running but there's no nudity because the scene takes place at night and everything is obscured by the darkness.
• In two different scenes men are seen with the intention ofremoved women. No nudity is seen, but screaming from the first scene is heard in the background (indicating that this is the case).

• Further examples of real or dramatized animal abuse: a man climbs on top of and rides a very small goat. A dog is beaten (possibly to death) and you can hear it whimpering in pain. People encouraging and enjoying dog fighting. A horse is pushed off of stairs and it struggles and falls.
• This movie involves real animal abuse: a horse stumbles off an out door staircase and is then stabbed to death with a spear, and a cow is seen running around engulfed in flames.
• scenes of medival related violence.
• people are beaten and brutalized
• people are killed with swords and other weapons during a barbarian raid.
• a teenage boy has his neck slashed. he falls to the ground and blood flows out all over his neck.
• many people crowded in a church are killed. we see their corpses covering the floor.
• a mans eyes are stabbed out. we see him stumbling around with bloody holes where his eyes should be.
• a man is briefly seen being crucified. we see the nails start to be pounded into his hands.
• a man is tortured by barbarians. they burn him with a torch and pour boiling water down his throat. he's then pulled across the ground by a horse. his body his bloody and wounded.
• various scenes of people being beaten and treated badly. people are carried away and are heard screming [sic] as theyre [sic] tortured.

• some mild swearing and one use of "motherfucker"

• some drinking

• This movie contains real scenes of what is now considered animal abuse, which may be unsettling to many. The death of the horse is particularly horrific.
• The film is pretty dark and unsettling. It is very pessimistic and dark. The film touches on themes of religion. The violence in some scenes can be intense.

• There is a graphic sex scene where two people have sex with prostitutes in the same room.
• Another graphic sex scene with another prostitute.
• A few non-graphic and very brief sexual remarks and said.
• Brief but graphic sex scene with prostitutes. Movement and noises shown.
• A fully nude man is thrown over the couch (genitalia and buttocks are briefly shown.)

• A man is put in a wood chipper and his body is shredded up in full detail. Extremely graphic and bloody.
• A man is shot in the stomach, and he shoots his attacker in the face. Blood spurts and he shoots the other man seven times.
• Shep attacks a man (who was investigating the commotion between him and Carl) and slams him against a wall repeatedly and knocking him out in the process.
• A man is shot in the head and lots of blood spurts out. Very bloody.
• A man is shot in the stomach, and he shoots his attacker in the face. Blood spurts and he shoots the other man seven times and kicks his corpse twice. The man who was shot in the face survives and the very bloody wound is shown for the rest of the movie.
• There is a break in and the two men chase the woman around the house and she locks her self in the bathroom. They find her which lead to a fight and her falling down the stairs. She is kidnapped.
• Carl threatens to shoot Jerry's son Scotty when Carl demands the money immediately. Although this does not happen.
• A man shoots an officer in the head, causing a large spurt of blood pour coming out. Carl Showalter also gets covered with some of the officer's blood.
• A couple are killed after witnessing the cop shooting.
• A man is brutally attacked while having sex. He is beaten and whipped and kicked. The woman he is with is also kicked.
• A man is shot in the back of the leg whilst fleeing from a police officer. A little blood appears on his wounded leg.

• 75 uses of 'fuck', most used by Steve Buscemi's character.
• Some uses of ass.
• Constant swearing.
• Blasphemy.

• Some random characters are seen drinking in pubs/bars. One of the kidnappers smokes many cigarettes.

• Many intense scenes. One involves a home invasion and kidnapping.
• Some intense scenes include police search of suspicious criminals, a brief car chase, running from peril, shootings, and dangerous encounters.
• Whilst Carl Showalter and Gaear Grimsrud may frighten viewers, it is Gaear who brings the most scares of the pair. He is heavily implied to be a psychopath as he rarely talks and he kills all his victims with no hesitation or remorse.
• Heavy violence brutal violence.
• Much of the film is rather intense with woodchipper scene being the most intense moment.
• Some may find the scene with Shep Proudfoot attacking Carl Showalter, the hooker and the person investigating the commotion to be rather intense to watch.
• This is a very intense movie, however it is also funny in a very dark way.
• This movie has shocking violence.
• Rated R (brutal Violence, graphic sex & Coarse Language)
• A man threatens to shoot another man's son when he demands the money immediately although it does not happen.

• machine translated from https://fun.youth.cn/gnzx/202307/t20230718_14655785.htm

The summer blockbuster “Three Thousand Miles of Chang'an” unfolds ancestral wisdom, emotions, and timeless beauty for contemporary audiences, opening the hearts of countless children. Pictured is the film poster.

　　With box office earnings exceeding 700 million yuan and an 8.2 rating online, the currently popular film “Three Thousand Miles of Chang'an” recently surged to the top of the box office charts with the momentum of “One day, we'll ride the wind and break the waves, hoist our cloud-like sails, and cross the vast sea.” As this summer blockbuster drew many parents with children to theaters, some moviegoers encountered a delightful nuisance: “When the film recited the first half of a Tang dynasty poem, the kids beside me would automatically recite the second half.” In some screenings packed with children, the collective recitation even created waves of sound, quickly trending on social media.

　　Some view this as a heartwarming sight rarely seen in theaters: inspired by the poets on screen, children spontaneously recited China's most exquisite verses, bridging an ancient dialogue with history—a moment that resonates with the filmmakers' original intent. This very act of cultural transmission and resonance carries its own poetic beauty. Others, however, noted that while children humming verses moved by the film is understandable, some parents disregarded others' feelings, treating the movie as a language tutoring session or poetry recitation contest for their children. This severely disrupted the viewing experience for others, prompting complaints like, “I didn't buy a ticket to watch a Chinese exam.” After synthesizing various opinions, reporters found that greater self-discipline from audiences and more proactive measures from theaters could transform this ‘annoyance’ into a “beautiful moment.”

　　Ancient poetry carries millennia of emotional resonance, and exchanging verses on and off the screen is a beautiful encounter.

Regarding the online buzz about children reciting classical poetry in theaters, film critic “Tübingen Carpenter” posted on Weibo: “If children join in reciting poetry, I suggest fellow audience members refrain from stopping them. It's a wonderful sound—a unique romance belonging to Chinese cinemas.” Many netizens agreed with this perspective. After all, when children spontaneously join Li Bai in chanting “I lift my head to gaze at the bright moon, I lower my head and think of my hometown” or Cui Hao's “The yellow crane has flown away, never to return; White clouds drift idly through the ages,” it's hard not to be moved by the cultural sentiment behind such scenes.

　　The lives of Tang Dynasty people feel distant to us today. Yet the 48 poems in this film unfold our ancestors' thoughts, emotions, and the beauty of their era for contemporary audiences, opening the hearts of countless children. During interviews, most netizens expressed that watching the film was about experiencing cultural charm. The poetic exchanges on and off screen represent a beautiful encounter, proving the film's success. One mother even commented on a trending topic: her child, who previously lacked patience for memorizing ancient poems, became enthusiastic after seeing the film, where the poets “came alive,” and now recites verses willingly at home.

　　Director Xie Junwei of Three Miles of Chang'an shared an experience: when his child recited “Spring sleep knows not dawn,” the child naturally continued with the next line. “In that instant, I felt our father-son bond, our two generations, connected by this culture. That moment made me truly realize how generations resonate through these cultural threads.” “ Song Yiyi, the film's producer, also shared that her daughter could recite ”Quiet Night Thoughts“ at just one year old: ”No one ever forced her to learn it. The rhythm of the poetry just made it easy for her to remember. Our generation reads these poems, and so will our children and grandchildren—it's a form of cultural inheritance."

With more self-discipline from audiences and proactive measures from theaters, what's currently “annoying” can become “enjoyable.”

　　For those whose movie experience was disrupted by children reciting poetry, some complaints are understandable. However, balancing the needs of audiences with differing attitudes requires collective attention and effort. The production team of Chang'an: Three Thousand Miles stated they never organized or encouraged audiences to recite classical poetry in theaters. Regarding this spontaneous display of enthusiasm, they can only repeatedly remind viewers to “observe theater etiquette and respect public order.”

　　Some netizens directly suggested creating dedicated family screenings, clearly marked during ticket purchase to distinguish them. Others proposed that parents bringing children to theaters could use this as an opportunity for civic education: not disturbing others is a fundamental principle. Practically speaking, from a theater management perspective, if children's spontaneous recitations are quiet or do not disrupt the atmosphere, parents can guide them while other viewers show understanding. However, when adults engage in such behavior for showmanship or to draw attention, severely disrupting the viewing experience, theater management should issue appropriate reminders and interventions.

In fact, the phenomenon of children spontaneously reciting classical poetry in theaters offers inspiration for cinemas to provide more refined and personalized services. With proper organization, fostering positive interaction between the screen and the audience could potentially deepen viewers' immersion in the film. Wang Lijun from the Shanghai Film Distribution and Exhibition Industry Association stated that Shanghai's film professionals have taken note of these online discussions: “Once we identify suitable themes through research and analysis, we will organize themed viewing events to foster positive interaction between the screen and the audience.” During the release of Slam Dunk, Shanghai cinema chains specifically organized “cheer sessions” where fans sang along to theme songs, cheered, screamed, and waved lights, creating an electrifying atmosphere. Such dedicated screenings satisfy fan demand without disrupting regular audiences.

　　A superior, immersive cinematic experience requires greater empathy and public-spiritedness from all parties to collectively create, enjoy, and preserve such excellence.

Author: Wei Zhong

• Nudity from the offset.
• Graphic sexual content in Episodes Two and Five, particularly "The Gush" and "Sex For Houses".
• Various references to incest, paedophilia,removed and various deviant sexual practices throughout the series.

• Episode One contains a sketch containing a suicide through jumping off a first story balcony forty times.
• Episode Two contains various more violent sketches, including "The Gush", a disease where porn stars ejaculate their whole body and die and a scene in which a divorced man jumps into a woodchipper. There are a few less graphic violent scenes, include a double of Richard Madeley beating up a cleaner.
• Episode Three contains one sketch with blood involving a failed robbery.
• Episode Five contains a sketch set in an acupuncture practice where they use nine inch nails and crucify people.
• Episode Six contains a sketch (caught on CCTV) set at a children's birthday party, where a disgruntled parent attacks parents and children.

• Use of very strong language.
• At least two uses of the word "fuck" in every episode.
• One written use of the word "removed" in episode three.
• Frequent sex references and references to deviant sexual behaviour throughout.

• Episode one refers to alcohol and "sniffing stuff", implying poppers.
• Episode Three's last sketch involves parents competitive for their child to get into the best local school giving children alcohol.
• A doctor is believed to have prescribed a young child heroin.
• A few scenes of people drinking.

• While brilliant, it is often called one of the most disturbing television programmes ever made, it is very bizzare, surreal and uncomfortable. It jokes about some of the darkest aspects of humans, and the humans within the show react very strangely.
• That being said, the content is very, very graphic and the show has a very dark sense of humour.

Chris Morris announces it's "The day Kilroy lost his mind." There is then a series of manic shots of a lookalike of television presenter Robert Kilroy Silk going mad in a shopping mall, running around naked, shouting at passers-by, urinating on a shop window then falling asleep in a supermarket's freezer after attempting to wrestle a baby from its mother.

A doctor insists that one of his patients - who is obviously perfectly healthy - is in a coma, one that apparently has no symptoms. He then carries out a mercy killing on the heavily drugged patient.

An angry man walks down a street complaining that he recently took his car to a garage and, when he went to pick it up, the car was only four-foot-long, the mechanic insisting that that was how it was when it came in. The complaining man gets angrier and angrier as he explains this anecdote, swearing frequently and eventually attacking the pavement.

A forty-six-year-old man explains how he married himself out of fear of being a life-long bachelor. We see a shot of the wedding with the solitary newly-wed driving off on a honeymoon with himself.

A brief scene shows two men in an Indian restaurant. Poppadoms are served. One man breaks the poppadoms for ease of consumption. His dinner partner becomes enraged, flings the table aside and starts beating up the other man, the violent assault accompanied by very relaxing music.

An agency provides thick people for jobs they are good at, such as arguments, which they are apparently very good at winning "because they are too thick to realise they've lost."

A suicidal man wants to kill himself but, instead of leaping from the top of the building, he opts to throw himself from the first-floor repeatedly in case he changed his mind half-way through.

Standing in a tree, a woman sings "Lovin' You" by Minnie Riperton while a crying man spanks her with a spacehopper.

A wife's fury at her husband having been caught apparently having sex with another woman is tempered when her husband tells her he was merelyremoved the woman.

In the first of many sketches set in a general practitioner's office, a woman comes in to complain about her sore leg. The doctor goes to rub it and asks "Does this hurt" when in fact he's rubbing his own leg. He loses himself in the pleasure of stroking his thigh and asks the woman to leave. The visuals and audio of the sketch are slowed down, creating a very dreamy and even hypnotic effect. It is accompanied by An Ending/Ascent by Brian Eno.

A doctor insists on going to the next room to listen to his patient list his symptoms over the telephone. The doctor has a very bad memory and ends up forgetting what he's doing, so that when the patient telephones the office next door, the doctor chides him for not making an appointment.

A recurring character is introduced, a man named Mr Ventham. Even compared to the surreal nature of the show, this recurring sketch is clearly dreamlike. In each sketch, Ventham enters a plush office for a meeting with a middle-aged man to whom he goes with his minor problems. In this one, Mr Ventham doesn't know what to do on Saturday evening. He is advised to go and see a show with some friends. Everyone involved in the Mr Ventham sketch is incredibly polite and formal with each other, although Mr Ventham always gets strangely nervous when making small-talk with the secretary outside.

A Dutch porn star (played by Chris Morris) explains his fear of getting "The Gush", which is apparently a terrible affliction male pornographic movie stars can sometimes get. It involves being unable to stop shooting semen, resulting in the victim ejaculating themselves to death over a period of several days.

A man throws himself into an industrial shredder that is set up to spray his bloody remains over his ex-wife's house. He calls out to her before jumping into the shredder so that the horrified woman leans out the window just in time to get a face full of gore.

Faked CCTV footage shows television presenter Richard Madeley beating up a cleaner and having sex with a vending machine.

One of the most controversial sketches of the series shows a woman begging a plumber to "fix" her dead baby. She reasons that the baby is only really constructed of pipes and other materials, and tells the plumber that he would easily be able to repair the corpse to working order. He is very reluctant, but after being offered £1,000 an hour he takes the job and reroutes the central heating pipes through the baby's body. We do not see his completed work, but the mother - who is obviously quite deranged - is very happy with the results.

A man holds up a shop, demanding a packet of cigarettes whilst thrusting a gun into the terrified cashier's face. The armed-robber then insists on actually paying for the cigarettes, and is confused when it is explained to him that he didn't need the gun; he explains that it is for the purpose of ensuring he gets his change.

A brief scene shows a crying woman complaining "I can't feel my cock" when her mother asks her what's up.

A middle-aged man declares how is doesn't like the idea of dying in his old age and so has himself buried (alive) "whilst I'm in my prime." He sits up in the coffin during the funeral service, listening to his own eulogy.

A doctor asks to see a patient's penis, which he then expresses great admiration for, much to the concern of the patient who actually only came in with a headache. The doctor then shows off his own penis. His colleague catches him and tells him off, making it apparent the doctor does this regularly. The doctor then asks if he will be able to do the same thing a few more times before being reported, and the colleague grudgingly agrees.

A woman whose housing rent has recently gone up decides to take action by lowering the house prices in the area (Kilburn) by spreading grease on shop windows, strewing used bandages all over the pavement and frying excrement on a grill by the side of the road.

An angry couple complain to a repairman that their new television has lizards coming out of it. The repairman offers some hopeless solutions ("sweep them up"), and then accuses the couple of putting the lizards there themselves. They angrily ask for his name and his manager's name in order to report him; he only mockingly gives them "Mr. Lizard" and taunts them before strolling out of the house, laughing. The husband becomes mad with rage, and his wife slaps him.

A manageress cannot afford to give a member of staff a pay-rise so, as an alternative, she offers to fart on her secretary's head. The employee is quite satisfied with this although the secretary is understandably rather distressed.

A man tries to hold up a shop by insisting he has a gun in his stomach. The cashier doesn't believe him and attempts the serve the next customer, so he fires it. The gun shoots the wrong way, blowing the would-be robber's spine out and killing a customer that was waiting quietly behind him.

A scene without dialogue shows happy couples strolling through the grounds of a private clinic all holding tiny coffins; one woman who has a tiny coffin greets another who is pregnant and waves goodbye to the bump.

Mr Ventham goes to see his mysterious advisor, to whom he complains he can't find his wallet. The advice-dispensing man suggests he looks around the kitchen for it. The music used is 'The Healing Place' by David Sylvian.

During a press-conference, the parents of a missing child sing a tearful song, accompanied by a cheap synthesizer, begging for their young son to be returned safely to them by his captor.

In order to help get their son into a very competitive local school, a couple have been sabotaging the competition. This involves getting other people's (very young) children drunk and encouraging them to smoke and take up an interest in pornography.

A maid gets very upset when her employer tells her off for taking so long to vacuum the house because she uses a tiny vacuum cleaner that is only a few inches in height.

In a scene reminiscent of Nikita, a man has a fight with a friend and waits for someone to come round and dispose of the body. The person who arrives is a six-year-old girl, who, despite her tender age, turns out to be very proficient at chopping up corpses. She is also very foul-mouthed and carries a gun. The body turns out not to be dead, but she kills him so that she can finish the job. The police arrest the surviving man.

Mr Ventham goes to see his advisor with the dreadful problem that his chin is a bit hot. He is advised to lick his chin and stand on a tall building on a windy day until the order of a tie-mounted "chin cooling sachet" is delivered.

A couple grieving for a miscarried baby are horrified when their cheerful neighbour comes round with a present in the form of a miniature coffin, which he proudly proclaims that he made himself. The couple are not impressed, and the man explains that coffins aren't generally used. The conversation runs dry and in attempting to console them. the neighbour lets slip that the baby was his, and that he had paid the woman for sex, to the horror of the woman's husband.

Seen through a window, two men shoot one another in their rectums with automatic pistols then roll around in agony and apparent sexual pleasure.

A very lonely woman with a dull voice goes to great lengths to meet people, such as by setting up traps to injure them so she can come to the rescue, or in one instance dressing up as a policewoman and telling a woman her son is dead then immediately asking the sobbing mother if she wants to see "Cats" at the theatre that evening.

When he is accused of prescribing heroin to a girl, a doctor blinds himself by flashing an Aldis lamp into his face and thus enabling him to go home sick (he is intent on driving) and avoid having to give an explanation for his actions.

A couple reluctantly agree to buy a house after the vendor insists that, on top of the asking price, he wants to have sex with the intended purchasers. The couple eventually grow tired of it and the husband lets his mentally handicapped sister take their place for the sex session.

Featuring CCTV footage of his actions, an inept armed robber admits that his plan of holding up a shop with an axe went a bit wrong when "the day I went in with the axe wasn't the same day as the day I made the threatening gestures".

Standing in a rainy field, a man - played by Chris Morris - explains how he survives by living outside and eating moss and insects. He ignores his wife who keeps suggesting he move back in to the house. He tells that sometimes he thinks that it would be so easy to go back in, but it would be giving up. He concludes by saying that he will probably be killed off by a frost when the winter comes.

Whilst giving directions, a man urinates on the side of the car belonging to the man asking for the directions. Bizarrely, the car has urinals all round it, except at the place the man is standing.

Two parents seem totally unconcerned when their young son does not come home from school. It is some time before they bother trying to find out what happened to him. When the police telephone them and say they have found the boy'sremovedd and strangled corpse, the parents are rather annoyed that they are obliged to bury him, and the father vows to "Have a word" - polite but indignant - with the man, a friend, suspected of carrying out the murder.

CCTV footage shows a children's game of musical chairs which turns nasty when an over-competitive father starts attacking other people's children and then the other parents.

To his horror, a timid security guard in an office witnesses several people step into a lift shaft and, thanks to the lift not actually being there, they plunge, screaming, to the bottom. He tries to warn others but his nervousness doesn't allow him to get the warnings out in time. They all ignore him and continue to stroll into the empty lift shaft and fall to their deaths.

A couple explain that they are convinced their six-year-old daughter is actually a forty-five-year-old man trapped inside a child's body. They give her an operation to fit her with a penis and testicles. They express particular satisfaction with the testicles. We do not actually see the handiwork, as it is out of shot.

Two male friends start kissing whilst in a pub, despite evidently having no previous homosexual urges. They try to tell their wives when they arrive but the women think it's a joke.

A couple go to see a doctor and refuse to believe the diagnosis that the wife is pregnant. She believes her swollen belly is just a "spot". The couple believe that the doctor is attempting to examine the woman for her own sexual gratification, whilst the doctor attempts to explain the pregnancy.

In a veterinary surgery, a man requests that he is allowed to have sex with his dog whilst it is in the process of being euthanised. The veterinary refuses, so the man contents himself by just pulling down his trousers whilst he watches his dog die.

Police hunt for a corpse in the woods whilst two rather bizarre elfin figures leap and covort around them, singing to Piero Umiliani's Mah Na Mah Na. One memorable sight is that of a bass clarinet being placed in the corpse's mouth and being 'played' by his chest being manually pumped.

A couple have an incredibly bizarre session of sex, involving such antics as the man fulfilling the woman's request to "shit your leg off" before he begs the woman: "Whack my bonobo!! Whack my bonobo!!". The woman eventually demands that the man makes his sperm come out green, but he can't do this; and when the sex session fails, he complains about his leg. We see very little of this, merely a shot from a camcorder half-buried under a pillow.

A woman goes to a doctor with her son, who can't help wetting himself. The doctor insists that there is nothing wrong with wetting oneself, and proves it by doing exactly that in front of his horrified patients. As with most 'Doctor' sketches, the speech is timestretched, and the 'torrent of urine' shot is shown in slow-motion, adding to the dreamlike effect of the sketch.