I'm going to strongly suggest to her that next year we rethink the whole Christmas thing, because she is the whole reason the family got even together like it did. If she just doesn't organize it won't happen.

Not for nothing, this is very worth considering.

Planning and hosting a big gathering all for the pleasure of miserable people who won’t appreciate it, is not a worthwhile use of energy. I know feeling like she is the glue of the family and that it’s the right thing to do for sake of the family. However, it’s an unfair burden to have on one’s self without any support from the other people involved. Eventually you gotta look out for you and your own.

The royal “you” obviously. Not trying to come off like I’m belittling you or her.