Its so ingrained through the years she doesn't think about it until I point out how no one complimented any effort she made (and those are some deluxe Christmas cookies you'd pay out the nose at the bakery for that she made) and how she and her sisters were looking for any excuse to get out of that room.

Also just out of curiosity, even with your comment I don't see how what you wrote could be read as belittling, could you expand on that I'm afraid I might come off belittling unintentionally.