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So, this may be part of the answer, but I've had similar experiences to you, except for one startup where just about everyone was like that. Place was basically a frat house - its office was right on the water (which was awesome) and they literally had a bunch of binoculars for oggling women paddleboarding and shit (which was not awesome)
It might be that most of us don't experience this behavior because it's condensed into companies that encourage this behavior? I'm no sociologist, but that seems to jive with what I know about echo chambers and whatnot
I think you might be right. I was at a conference one time where there was a super creepy presenter that made a whole bunch of "brogrammer" jokes. He was not asked to return and lots of people walked out of his talk.
Yeah I wouldn't be surprised if people like that find companies with similar cultures and just all stay there so they can be shitty together