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Dealing with friendships that only have the past in common (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Officially in my mid-30s and every year that goes by I realize more and more that friendships from the past, high school, university etc start to dwindle as people get older and are more set in their lives. I understand that's how life is, but the upsetting thing is realizing that these friendships are based on little more than hanging onto past experiences.

I realize that I have less and less in common with them and we generally don't share the same values. They are mostly run of the mill libs "normies" type of people. Sure that sounds obnoxious, but as I'm sure many of you understand, being a queer leftist means that you will never have the same experiences as these people. I choose the people I spend my time with and the places I go very carefully to maximize my safety and enjoyment out of hell world.

Sure it would be easy to write all these people off and just focus on my new friendships with people whom I have more in common with, but that's easier said than done. It feels wrong on some level to let these friendships go. Even if it's the other person coming to the same conclusion. It still hurts on some level.

How have you dealt with this situation? I highly doubt this is unique.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm disabled so I'm in a very different class position from many of my old friends. The longer they own their own homes the worse it gets, and as soon as they have children the more invested they are in preserving the status quo despite that status quo fucking them up at every turn.

They are mostly run of the mill libs "normies" type of people.

I totally get it, comrade. I love my friends but they frustrate the hell out of me sometimes. How often do they tut-tut you for being too "negative"?

Meanwhile: https://www.theonion.com/study-confirms-it-becomes-harder-to-make-childhood-frie-1850600357

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah, I completely understand. My first close friend had a child recently and I'm dreading what that's going to do to things. I'm not particularly good with kids and I certainly don't want any of my own so that makes it hard to relate when the thing that is going to be their top priority in life isn't on your radar.

Definitely been chastised for negativity.

Good article haha very funny.