To be fair - If they are platanos - I wouldn’t buy such green plantains because those fuckers are green, green, green for weeks then yellow but not ready and I forget about them and miss the one day they are ripe.

You just described avocados except on a longer time scale. Avocados are a like "Sike! I was ripe at 12:56 pm and it is now 12:59 pm. I now no longer ripe."