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Tag yourself I'm a Marxist-Leninist
(thelemmy.club)
There's only two classes: Marxist-Leninist or Class Traitor 
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this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2026
96 points (97.1% liked)
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I know a guy who makes coffee exclusively with a blender. (If you can guess how you get a gold star) What's his political alignment?
Futurist hands down.
Socdem or left liberal. Not sure why.
He grinds the beans with the blender, then puts them into a filter and back on top the blender?
He does not grinds his own beans. But very good guess.
Centrist
Since the reasonable guesses have been made I’m wondering if you are making homemade Frappuccinos
It isn't me. But I have made homemade frappucinos. I think the mess of cleaning a blender is not worth a single cup of anything though.
I haven’t but now I want to!
It's honestly just as good as what you get from a coffee shop, since the quality of the actual coffee is drowned out by all the other ingredients. Pretty easy too. Would recommend, except for the cleaning.
The trick is to use xanthan gum or some other emulsifier. That keeps the ice from separating out, and it helps the flavors shine through. But in the blender only use the tiniest amount, like a pinch, otherwise it will turn into… gum
Woah that’s a good tip thanks! I never would’ve guessed I just cope with my ice bits in my smoothies lol
He uses one of those ninja blenders that can spin fast enough to heat the brew?
No, and I can't ever let him know that those exist.
That's possible? I only had a blender that would spin fast enough to melt some plastic parts and self destruct
I don't know if it could actually get to a good temp for coffee but I have seen it as an advertised feature that you can set it to warm mode and it will heat the liquid by spinning at a higher rate. I'd love to see one self-destruct though.
The bearing connecting the spinning blade to the motor crapped out and the friction melted the plastic. For a while I'd just have plastic pieces in the smoothie but eventually a larger chunk of plastic around the bearing got loose and the blender would no longer hold liquid.
I'm guessing he takes ground coffee and tosses that in a blender with some water (not sure if it's hot water or if he's a cold brew man) and blends it up to brew it, then waits for the grounds to settle (or strains them out with his teeth?)
I said exclusive, he does not use a kettle or any other kind of secondary instrument. That water is not going in hot. But you're pretty damn close. Like you're almost tasting the abomination he calls coffee. Silver star.
I'm too invested I gotta figure this out.
So cold water and grounds go in, blender goes on, I'm guessing no filter, does a mug/cup count as a secondary instrument? No microwave either if this is exclusively blender-based, so he just pours himself a slurry of cold-to-room-temperature water and ground coffee and drinks that?
I don't count the cup if it's used as a vessel for drinking as a secondary instrument. If used as a part of the coffee making process, then it would be a secondary instrument. A filter would be a secondary instrument, and so goes unused.
You've basically got it, but if you want all the horrible details then press this button.
Half the time it's instant coffee. A little bit of water and his coffee grounds or instant coffee goes in the blender, he blends for a bit, then pours in some more water, blends some more, adds his creamer and his sweetener, blends again, lets it settle if its grounds and then pours it in a cup.
He calls it "Turkish coffee" when he uses grounds because there's always a bunch of grounds that end up in his cup.
I don't know why he does it like this. It doesn't even save him time.
Oh duh I forgot the cream and sugar, of course this dude isn't drinking that abomination black.
I have more questions than when I started though. Why bother with grounds at all, why not just stick to instant coffee? Why the blender? It sounds like more work than just about any other coffee making method, and it can't taste good, so why?
I can ask him if you want, and tell you when he gets back to me.
men would rather make blender coffee than go to therapy
Please do, I'm incredibly curious what leads someone down the path of deciding a blender is the best way to make coffee
I have your answer.
He says the more you agitate it, the quicker the grounds give off their flavour so this way he can make something like cold brew super quick since the blender stirs way quicker than he could by hand, and he doesn't mind the grounds.
Brb going to try this to see if he's on to something, thanks for sating my curiosity
I have no idea about coffee mechanics, but it makes intuitive sense. But I still think it would take way longer than what he does.
I don't think he's onto something
Straining the grounds with my teeth was a little much so I ran some of it through a coffee filter
It wasn't good. I mean I can see where he's coming from if he doesn't like hot coffee and doesn't want to make proper cold brew for whatever reason, but I think I'd rather take the extra time to chuck some coffee in a jar overnight.
Thank you for your contributions to coffee science!
Edit: I shall report your result to him, and tell him that he can get better results through traditional cold brewing. Maybe we can save him.
I'll make some traditional cold brew using the same shitty ground coffee to see if it's an improvement, though pretty much anything would be an improvement over blender coffee. He deserves better than blender brew
I can see it being fine with instant coffee though, the "blender just stirs faster" logic works fine there.
Choas.