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I'm not arguing that you can't or shouldn't, but for the benefit of anyone interested in meditation: tripping on drugs do not take you to the same place. It is not a "shortcut" to meditation. It's a "play random song" for brain chemistry and structure that may be entertaining or life-ruining. It depends on the day.
For anyone interested in social lubrication (which is what motivates a lot of alcohol consumption), tripping on drugs is not the way out.
If you need medical attention, I can understand. I was considering psychedelics before I got my ADHD diagnosis.
I've worked in the area of mental health since, know people who've taken ayahuasca, iboga, psychedelics & amphetamines. If you feel you've nothing to lose, then irreversible change that everyone except yourself notices might be acceptable. But I've even had a friend die under the guidance of an experienced officer of ceremonies at a publicly-advertised retreat. If you can afford targeted medical treatment, I'd advise that first.
Anyway, not to lecture you. I'm nearly fifty and just want to help people where I can. I've seen and learned a lot. People who are experienced with psychedelics are not as sagely as they think.
To make an analogy, meditation is like riding a pony somewhere, where as psychedlics is more like a hitchhiking on the highway. With meditation, you are more in control but travel slowly; you can control your destination. With drugs, you're at greater risk and have less control over where you actually end up, but you get there quicker.
Maybe psychedelics don't get you the same place as meditation, exactly, but they get you out of a town, and if you're main interest is in learning that there is SOMETHING out of a town, then it's a related process.
My problem is that I'm kind of having a soft existential crisis and if I could poke my head out from beyond the cloud of my consensually constructed reality, I think that might give me a different perspective on things.
And, like I said, I gave meditation a sincere effort.
But thank you for the article; I'm aware that there are risks and plan to limit them as much as possible.
Best of luck with whichever path you take my friend. I hear you on the existential thing. The books I was reading in similar circumstances labelled it a “dark night of the soul”. Took me a long time to figure that one out in my own way. Fare well.
Yeah, partially it's just a career crisis; I'm almost unemployable despite having a Master's Degree, maybe because I'm just a little bit autistic, and because I've been abused the field I need to make nice in. Today I'm applying to a fast food job, wondering how much I can rent my apartment for and if it would leave me enough to live out of a van while I work somewhere.
But after a life-time of depression and anxietey and psychiatric medications, I feel more confident of myself than I ever have, I just don't belong in the world I unforunately am forced to inhabit.
Yeah, Long Dark Night of the Soul is a book by Spanish Monk St. John of the Cross. There's a pretty cool YouTuber by the name of Britt Hartley, ex-mormon, who talks a little bit about her experience with Sufi gurus. Apparently, there's a whole community across the world in EVERY religion who are about directly experiencing reality and not standing on ceremony about it. Western psychedlic use is one path, other traditions use psychedlics in their own way (the article you linked, by the way, did mention using psychedlics within a religious context was a protective factor--but whether it would protect me as an atheist is an open question)....
Anyway, thank you for sharing your experience with me, even if if "did not contribute to the discussion" lol (Edit: oh, it looks like you slipped into positive vote territory)
And I'm so sorry about your friend.
I'm really sorry that you had an experience like that in your field of choice. I also chose to transition to a factory job for a few years despite having a degree because of chronic anxiety, possibly trauma, with my original field of study at the time. It did help for a while.
It must have been tough if you're in a better place now but still feel perpendicular to the world. It sounds like you've experienced a lot, studied and reflected a lot on your options. I remember reading Gurdjieff around the same time as Dark Night of the Soul, looking for answers. Possibly some overlap the Sufis you mentioned.
I tend to not think of voting when I'm struggling to articulate myself the way I'd like to, as I was earlier. Anyway, at least it wasn't AI :)
And thanks for mentioning my friend. I hope that whether it's to a lesser or greater degree, that you find what you're looking for.