Yeah, partially it's just a career crisis; I'm almost unemployable despite having a Master's Degree, maybe because I'm just a little bit autistic, and because I've been abused the field I need to make nice in. Today I'm applying to a fast food job, wondering how much I can rent my apartment for and if it would leave me enough to live out of a van while I work somewhere.
But after a life-time of depression and anxietey and psychiatric medications, I feel more confident of myself than I ever have, I just don't belong in the world I unforunately am forced to inhabit.
Yeah, Long Dark Night of the Soul is a book by Spanish Monk St. John of the Cross. There's a pretty cool YouTuber by the name of Britt Hartley, ex-mormon, who talks a little bit about her experience with Sufi gurus. Apparently, there's a whole community across the world in EVERY religion who are about directly experiencing reality and not standing on ceremony about it. Western psychedlic use is one path, other traditions use psychedlics in their own way (the article you linked, by the way, did mention using psychedlics within a religious context was a protective factor--but whether it would protect me as an atheist is an open question)....
Anyway, thank you for sharing your experience with me, even if if "did not contribute to the discussion" lol (Edit: oh, it looks like you slipped into positive vote territory)
And I'm so sorry about your friend.