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Wild Feed
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I'm really sorry that you had an experience like that in your field of choice. I also chose to transition to a factory job for a few years despite having a degree because of chronic anxiety, possibly trauma, with my original field of study at the time. It did help for a while.
It must have been tough if you're in a better place now but still feel perpendicular to the world. It sounds like you've experienced a lot, studied and reflected a lot on your options. I remember reading Gurdjieff around the same time as Dark Night of the Soul, looking for answers. Possibly some overlap the Sufis you mentioned.
I tend to not think of voting when I'm struggling to articulate myself the way I'd like to, as I was earlier. Anyway, at least it wasn't AI :)
And thanks for mentioning my friend. I hope that whether it's to a lesser or greater degree, that you find what you're looking for.