Yeah I think I just got weird genes. My body generally wants to be muscular for my activity/hormone level. When I go from sedentary to biking in short order the little belly I have moves to butt and thigh muscle. I need to get back to lifting, my wife really appreciated what pull ups did to my back.

And yeah I'm a tall woman, so I don't get like shredded, I mostly just get toned and strong, though my thighs and butt do get pretty big (but that's a little bit just what happens to cyclists).

And yeah, from what I hear your experience with menopause and weight is totally normal. And it's really easy to feel fat even when you aren't when you're just bigger than your mental model of yourself.