Does it matter what he wants? He doesn't sound like relationship material to me. Enjoy yourself and tell him no if he asks for more. You don't have to just because he wants to.

What do you "really like" about him? It's entirely possible to love someone and not want to spend your life with him. Based only on what you wrote I don't get why you'd want more than casual with this person.

So she still likes sex with you, and initiates it, and that is not working for you? I don't think the not shaving is a big deal if you still can go down on her but never oral for you, if she is not bothered by doing it, is not so ok. I don't love it but if he likes it and I tolerate it (meaning there isn't a reason to not want to - like really noxious cum, some guys really do taste foul, or if that's all he wanted to do, or my ex was a once a week guy so if I got him off that way I would be frustrated for another week) I would do it and be turned on by his enjoyment. That seems like a pretty normal way to feel.

Flirting to get in the mood seems a reasonable ask, and something that would work for her too, was her work suffering?

I guess I'm wondering where y'all overlap, what things do you both enjoy?

It's ok not great I guess? There is a growing disconnect between prices of goods, and wages. Rents and house prices being the biggest example but also electricity, food, gas (I don't drive much but the gas price shows up in other things like food)

We had a party but oof this year it was lame - my grown kids asked me to have one (our house is a great house for a Halloween party) and then took off to other parties instead of bringing their parties here, and none of the grownups I invited came because it rained hard, and we got almost no trick or treaters either, because of the rain.

Halloween is my favorite holiday, and I am happy enough just decorating and giving out candy, I do dress up. This year just sort of a Ghostess, dead makeup, long gray dress, inverted pentagram necklace. Simple and effective, I didn't look usual.

The two kids who did stay had scary costumes - one was a data center and one was a Waymo.

It was a bust of a party, it rained and only few people showed up, almost no trick or treaters either. Good drinks and food though and I got to dance in the strobe light room, that is always fun.

Thanksgiving is all-comers at my house, so if you are a thanksgiving orphan you are invited.

You have to understand the roots of the voting registration rules here to understand it better. The whole point of them was to keep black men and all women from having a vote.

That's it - that is what they were for. So every permutation since is built on that framework, it's always "the wrong people might vote' instead of "we want to make sure everyone votes".

So voter ID is not a bad idea on its face, you go in to vote the poll workers need to know who you are, right? The lady who sits across from me at work is old, she went to renew her driver's license in February this year and they said no, your current license (that they issued) is not enough, there are new requirements - we need your birth certificate, your first marriage license, your divorce paperwork, your second marriage license, your divorce decree from that marriage, then we can renew your license.

She just managed to get all this by mid-October, so she did get through in time to vote but what the fuck? She had to reach out to 3 states and getting a birth certificate from like the 1950s is not easy. Why is it not easy to renew? Because the laws were written to prevent voting not to enable it.

I mean, we know cats named Oreo, Biscuit, and Butter.

My Kimchi, her whole name is Kim Chiara Oscura because her coat is light in darkness.

Our usage is higher than that, not 80 but higher than 30 always. and yes I think it's high. I cook at home, a lot. AC runs a lot, 2 heat pump units. One person working from home. High ceilings. Everything is electric. Our bill is lower in the winter than the summer but our winters are mild.

I agree this is, and should be, an unpopular opinion.

If I get some money for doing nothing, a windfall, then getting half of it is still me getting free money.

If I work for ten years to get the same amount, shouldn't I pay less in taxes? I spent my time and effort making that money.

Usually anyone who gets rich quick either ripped people off, inherited or won money and I would tax anything unearned at a higher rate than earned.

I can't always immediately tell right from left, but generally know where north is; and have lived in the same place for so long I know where I am so well, could drive a taxi.

I kinda like getting lost but it doesn't happen here.

And I HATE navigation, don't like my phone yelling at me to turn right in 100 feet. I just want to actually know where I am, not have a path. When I worked farther away & had to drive I would go different ways every day. My husband thinks that's funny, he would decide an ideal route and keep using it, but I want to explore.

Yeah this is not something I'd buy premade - not enough difference in convenience, and homemade is so tasty

Leon Bridges (with Hermanos Gutierrez ) does such a good cover of Elegantly Wasted.