At this point, I think most non uptight people have taken to using 'knob slobberer', 'ball fondler', 'bouncin on that thing and doin tricks on it'... etc... mostly as just a sex/gender/orientation independent ways of saying you're a simp, you're a sycophant, you're a toadie, something like that.

(Most people have a mouth and at least one lower orifice of some kind and a hand or two)

The idea is that you're overly subservient, not that you're any kind of orientation.

Yeah they're still used by bigots as bigotted slurs in some contexts, but just broadly, society has gotten measurably more comfortable discussing sex, in any context or capacity.

Maybe another comparable thing is like how 'you guys' has basically become gender neutral, in many contexts.

Like, I'm a bi dude, and if somebody who knew that about me called me a fag, half in jest, I'd probably respond playfully, not... insulted and indignant.

Same with queer... that's not even an insult to me in any way, its just a ... factually accurate description.

Sure if you use those terms with clear derisive invictive (invective?), then yes its a bigotted insult/slur, but... yeah context matters, there are many other contexts where I wouldn't find those terms insulting at all.

Like at least to myself personally, cocksucker is an equal opportunity insult roughly the way bastard is... it implies duplicity, perfidy... not sexual orientation.

How is cocksucker a homophobic insult? I get it used on a male, but it isn't exclusively an insult towards men.