no, your tastes differ from mine so we must fight on the internet i prefer bush's beans. i don't think i've given heinz beans a fair shake though so like my opinion is pretty uninformed,

i usually just throw my own recipe on the smoker. if i'm not doing straight up chili, i'll cook some beans up most of the way smooth but not entirely smooth (the smoothest hummus of your life is 45 minutes in the electric pressure cooker. i do 20 with bbq beans), make some quick gravy (mix my favorite BBQ sauces with a few spices but not too many as the meat's rub contributes a lot, come to think of it i usually just use extra rub and bbq sauce and a can of tomato sauce) then throw it all on the smoker in a disposable foil tin with some sauteed onions and peppers underneath the meat to catch all the drippin's and the rub that comes off the meat with it. after 2-3 hours the beans are done, stir it once an hour maybe if you want, put another foil pan underneath to protect from burning, and let it sit in with the meat until it's done. top it up with tomato sauce, water, broth, wine, beer, rum, whiskey, or bbq sauce (whatever floats your fancy) if the liquid runs low, taste it before serving and adjust the spices. it'll take a few attempts to get your recipe to where you want it and to figure out which sauces and rubs and spices you want to use, but it's worth the experimentation and you get to eat the results. also they keep forever in the fridge/freezer

so i've had a "benign tremor" my entire life so i just wear patterns that make the spills hard to notice. hawaiian shirts, stuff like that. i have a couple shirts that repel water and food stains and shit. i have to leave for an appointment but i'll get you the fabric blend.

one is 65 cotton 33 poly 3 spandex, two are 58 cotton 42 poly. if i spill food on these (and my family very literally has an urban legend about my mom eating a chili dog that has spread around the western US and part of el caribe, this is an heritable trait) it wipes right off, no stain. normally I'm a natural fibers, natural, breathable fabrics dude but when there's a specific use case like yours (or mine i guess) it's worth it to have a few microplastic-shedding shirts that keep us tidy.

Except it's a Spanish dish from Sephardic Jews . . .

You just used, "No true Scotsman.." in its original usage.

My parents took a DNA test and that's what it said, so I didn't mean to offend you.

I hope whatever is upsetting you so much passes, amigo. Chill out. No one cares.