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But at what cost?
(thelemmy.club)
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this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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Firstly no they haven't. The death penalty is an option but not often used. Because most abusers are close family or friends and you want kids to come forward without the fear of killing their uncle.
I think sometimes people ignore in the maximalist approaches to this is that you might be traumatized by your abuser and want justice and even revenge, but not actually want them to die. And that the agency and preferences of the victim are important here.
CSA personal, dead abuser
My feelings on this became very complex the day the man who abused me died, literally from prostate cancer. And prior to this was paralyzed from the waist down.
This was a friend of extended family so I had been forced to see him in family gatherings for years and he could also show up in my life unannounced. He was never charged for what he did, because I had been a teenager at the time and was told to keep silent to "not bring shame to my family" and told it was my fault. So it was this open secret and I was the one forced to act normal when he would show up somwehere. I felt unsafe and violated all the time. It was also an open secret that I was just one of many teenage girls he had done this to.
So when he got paralyzed I felt so relieved, he could not do this to anyone ever again. Or me. Then when I was told he had died I remember saying "deserved it, haha" and I got so much pushback from this same family on what a terrible person I am for reacting this way.
I don't necessarily support the death penalty on this, but the abusers do have to be kept away from potential victims and I have no idea what re-education in this case could look like. I am however not sad when someone like this dies and probably never can be.
Oh, yeah, total agreement here. And sorry that happened to you.
I have delta with this not directly but multiple times via association to other close family who were groomed/assaulted/targeted and had to put up with just going along pretending. It is perfectly valid to be happy or relieved when monsters die.
Yet it still makes one feel kind of bad which honestly sucks, because it's the victims feeling bad only, every step of the way.
I kind of think that as long as the sort of violent pathriarchy that we have fostered exists, there should be real material deterrants that actually deter something. In so many cases the abusers are protected, shielded and if they do get convicted those are typically slaps in the wrist. So I am in favor of the type of authoritarianism where this is condemned so strongly on a systemic level that it puts some fear into the abusers. While at the same time focusing on changing our culture to something where this no longer is as common. On the global scale it feels like only China is on the side of the victim.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Glad that they are out of your life
Also ppl forget if theremoved knows theyll be killed if theyre caught, theyre more likely to also kill their victim cuz the punishment cant be any worse and that way theres no witness
It's easier to hide an SV than a body; you might not believe a child but you'll believe their corpse