this post was submitted on 19 May 2025
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as others have said, try synthesizing your ideas. You have a good core argument, but its a little rambly, with some things that feel more buzz word then argument.
Try leading with your thesis, in this case "The democrats are controlled opposition that work with the Republicans to keep the working class down" and then follow up with your supporting comments and evidence. Alot of people wont read everything and just by the first half will judge what you say.