this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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It seems like the only logical option. If someone paid me to come up with a solution to having poopy butt I couldn't come up with a better one than a hose or a bidet. You know what I wouldn't do? I WOULDN'T INVENT PAPER YOU COULD RUB ON YOUR BUTT.

Like every person that has tried a bidet on the internet describes their experience as being reborn. Anyone that tries it instantly becomes a shill for big bidet. I have not seen a single negative review for a bidet aside from maybe water shooting up your back which is more of a skill issue with aiming.

There is some debate to be had between using a bidet versus using a hose. With bidet there's no hand contact but you can't control where the water goes. Im personally more in favor of hose since you still gotta flush and handle the bathroom door so there's gonna be contact either way, but using water is CLEARLY superior to toilet paper.

Water is cheaper and guess what? IT USES LESS CLEAN WATER THAN MAKING TOILET PAPER. That's right making a single tissue of TP uses more water than just simply washing your butt. You can also shower less frequently because you don't constantly smell like shit. We are deforesting jungles just to turn them into butt napkins that do not even clean us properly, they just smear the shit all over the crack and make us smell like poop.

Also without TP there's no longer an issue with assholes flushing their used TP down the toilet and clogging the pipes, houses will no longer get TP'ed, the pandemic scalping situation wouldn't have happened etc etc. So why are people still hellbent on using this inferior method?

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

idk if this is a dumb question but are there any worries about getting a uti or other issues if the bidet water accidentally pushes bacteria forward or is that something that doesn't really happen if your aim is good? i've been thinking about getting a bidet shower but i'm pretty prone to utis so i've been putting it off cause i wasn't sure.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I don't really understand the use of it that people are describing here, but the way I for example use a bidet would not do that. There is no aiming, I use it like a hand shower because that is what it essentially is.

I use it from the front to the back always and wash with soap as well with my other hand. First water, soap, then a good rinse. Then dry everything up well. I don't understand how just shooting water up my butt crack would really wash anything well.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago

that makes so much more sense to me thank you for explaining!