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this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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askchapo
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If we're talking about "inventing TP", I'm pretty sure we wiped with leaves and stuff before we invented the hose. Maybe even nice thick leaves like cabbage leaves.
I don't like getting only my butt wet instead of the whole body. If I wanted my butt wet I might as well take a shower.
Also, composting toilets are superior. Flush toilets emerged along with the capitalist class and the liberal idea of private bathroom ownership. Putting water pipes into every dwelling unit is a wasteful luxury that speeds up the decay of buildings. If we're talking about plumbing and commodity shortages we need to have a holistic approach instead of a hyperspecific bandaid approach.
And rocks too, people still do when in nature without access to clean water. Of course people also used to (and still do) have pitchers and use that water to wash themselves. Still if im saying it's the better way it really doesn't matter that people used to wipe more than wash (this is a pro-washing post rather than anti-TP).
Valid but also I feel like comparing washing your asshole to dipping your bottom in water or taking a shower is a little bit excessive.
We're not we're talking about having poopy butts I just threw that stuff in last minute.
Are you actually washing anything or just blasting it with water? Is soap involved at all?
It's just blasting it with water no soap involved. You get a little wet but it dries off quickly. Obviously you can't eat off of your ass like that but generally it's cleaner than wiping it unless you are an ardent wiper or use a lot of TP.
I'd definitely still wipe, then!
I would consider myself a complete wiper. It's done when there are no further traces left on the TP. I would say I use about 1 roll per month, at the very most.
How do you know when you're done hosing your butt?
I have installed a mirror attachment to my bidet and 3 other mirrors at different angles so that I can look straight and see my butt. Then I pull out my phone, take a picture and send it to an image analysis AI hosted on a cloud broker in germany which has been trained on 20 thousand pictures of my clean ass vs 20 thousand pictures of my dirty ass. Then after that I feed its output to an LLM which gives me back a 5 paragraph essay explaining the situation down there ELI5 style. Then I call an ass specialist on the phone to consult the results with them and finally after the medical panel has been formed and gave their final diagnosis I stand up and wash my hands.
Well I was considering it, but scrapped the idea. I guess that's why none of us wash our assholes with water. It's just too much work!
When you said "bum gun" you had me sold. I am now going to buy a water gun, mostly for giving myself silly bathroom pranks