It seems like the only logical option. If someone paid me to come up with a solution to having poopy butt I couldn't come up with a better one than a hose or a bidet. You know what I wouldn't do? I WOULDN'T INVENT PAPER YOU COULD RUB ON YOUR BUTT.
Like every person that has tried a bidet on the internet describes their experience as being reborn. Anyone that tries it instantly becomes a shill for big bidet. I have not seen a single negative review for a bidet aside from maybe water shooting up your back which is more of a skill issue with aiming.
There is some debate to be had between using a bidet versus using a hose. With bidet there's no hand contact but you can't control where the water goes. Im personally more in favor of hose since you still gotta flush and handle the bathroom door so there's gonna be contact either way, but using water is CLEARLY superior to toilet paper.
Water is cheaper and guess what? IT USES LESS CLEAN WATER THAN MAKING TOILET PAPER. That's right making a single tissue of TP uses more water than just simply washing your butt. You can also shower less frequently because you don't constantly smell like shit. We are deforesting jungles just to turn them into butt napkins that do not even clean us properly, they just smear the shit all over the crack and make us smell like poop.
Also without TP there's no longer an issue with assholes flushing their used TP down the toilet and clogging the pipes, houses will no longer get TP'ed, the pandemic scalping situation wouldn't have happened etc etc. So why are people still hellbent on using this inferior method?
If we're talking about "inventing TP", I'm pretty sure we wiped with leaves and stuff before we invented the hose. Maybe even nice thick leaves like cabbage leaves.
I don't like getting only my butt wet instead of the whole body. If I wanted my butt wet I might as well take a shower.
Also, composting toilets are superior. Flush toilets emerged along with the capitalist class and the liberal idea of private bathroom ownership. Putting water pipes into every dwelling unit is a wasteful luxury that speeds up the decay of buildings. If we're talking about plumbing and commodity shortages we need to have a holistic approach instead of a hyperspecific bandaid approach.
I’m pretty sure the ultimate invention of paper for cleaning anuses happened, at least in the US, in 1791 when the Bill of Rights was ratified.
I'm all for public baths, public kitchens, and public toilets but... do you want to tear everyone's plumbing out?
And rocks too, people still do when in nature without access to clean water. Of course people also used to (and still do) have pitchers and use that water to wash themselves. Still if im saying it's the better way it really doesn't matter that people used to wipe more than wash (this is a pro-washing post rather than anti-TP).
Valid but also I feel like comparing washing your asshole to dipping your bottom in water or taking a shower is a little bit excessive.
We're not we're talking about having poopy butts I just threw that stuff in last minute.
Are you actually washing anything or just blasting it with water? Is soap involved at all?
It's just blasting it with water no soap involved. You get a little wet but it dries off quickly. Obviously you can't eat off of your ass like that but generally it's cleaner than wiping it unless you are an ardent wiper or use a lot of TP.
I would consider myself a complete wiper. It's done when there are no further traces left on the TP. I would say I use about 1 roll per month, at the very most.
How do you know when you're done hosing your butt?
I have installed a mirror attachment to my bidet and 3 other mirrors at different angles so that I can look straight and see my butt. Then I pull out my phone, take a picture and send it to an image analysis AI hosted on a cloud broker in germany which has been trained on 20 thousand pictures of my clean ass vs 20 thousand pictures of my dirty ass. Then after that I feed its output to an LLM which gives me back a 5 paragraph essay explaining the situation down there ELI5 style. Then I call an ass specialist on the phone to consult the results with them and finally after the medical panel has been formed and gave their final diagnosis I stand up and wash my hands.
I'd definitely still wipe, then!
When you said "bum gun" you had me sold. I am now going to buy a water gun, mostly for giving myself silly bathroom pranks