this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2025
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It would be great if you could avoid using ableist slurs to refer to people you don't like
How else should you describe them?
Take your pick — There's a whole world of insults that don't involve punching down at marginalised groups. I realise that may sound hyperbolic, but I say it because I'm someone who is sometimes the recipient of that slur, and it's jarring to see it in spaces like this. I know that in this case, it wasn't at me, but a key part of why insults like this carry weight is because of the comparison it makes to people like me (even if only implicitly).
My hope is that we might be more creative with our insults when solidarity is our best weapon against these assholes
I'm watching the shows "Life on Mars" and "Ashes to Ashes", both of which prominently display modern sensibilities in the 70's and 80's, respectably.
It's very easy to hear the problem youre describing if one can't see/hear it in the modern context. The amount of casual racism, sexism, misogyny, homophobia, ableism. (Hard ableism, as in a deaf kid gets treated as if they were mentally disabled.)
It's not a slur as much as it's a definition. To be retarded means delayed or slow. It has nothing to do with mentally handicapped people.
In the context of talking about people, that word has everything to do with the people who it has been used as a slur against, including, but not limited to "mentally handicapped".
OP was clearly using the phrase as a derogatory term for people, and the only dictionary sense that fits there is the one that has ableist allusions. If the context of use were different, we wouldn't be having this conversation. For example, I wouldn't have a problem with the phrase "The PCM responds by retarding ignition timing—either until the knock disappears, or until maximum spark retard is reached." or "The Friar's alibi finds him at the right place but always a moment in retard".
That you're taking such a literal reading here makes me wonder whether your comment was made in bad faith such that I shouldn't bother wasting my time, but I'm hoping that there could actually be some meaningful dialogue here (after all, there's a reason why I didn't just report OP and move on). It might not affect your opinion, but I have direct experience of the r-slur that has been directed at me (not infrequently) when I am people read visibly disabled. I'm not "mentally handicapped", but as a word, it has grown far beyond it's original context of use. I say this to give context on my original comment — I'm not just going about tone policing people for fun: I commented what I did because it hurts to see that word thrown at people when part of what makes it effective as an insult is its attachment to people like me.
Once upon a time, the r-slur was actually considered one of the more appropriate words to describe people who are intellectually disabled. If I were alive in that era, I'd have likely been left to rot in an institution, and allowed only a fraction of the independence I'm able to have nowadays. But times change, and so does our understanding of the baggage that words pick up.
To draw an analogy, it wouldn't be appropriate to call a black person the n-word, on the basis that it derives from the Spanish word for "black". That etymology isn't wrong, but it's still missing the forest for the trees.
This my friends is a distinction without a difference.